PIT, [v. 1 no. 1] Autumn 1952

TP68 ARCHIVES CALIFORNIA INSTITUTE OF TEGHNOLOGY AUTUMN 1952 PRICE: TEN CENTS In this issue: FORMULISM (Avant-garde Littérature), a new philosophy from Caltech. PIT AUTUMN 10,52 UNDEPGRADUATE & GRADUATE LITERARY MAGAZINE POBLISHEO!!! Rejected by the Library of Congress, 1952 EDITORIAL BOARD (Names Withheld on Request) Address correspondence to: PIT Box 75, Throop Hall Campus (Deposit in any on campus mailbox) CXVI PIT. : AUTUMN 1952 CONTENTS Norman Rockwell Cover Design Charles Dickens A Christmas Carol Millikan, Roller, and Watson Mechanics, Molecular Physics, Heat, and Sound Robert Louis Stevenson Treasure Island Foster Strong Campus Brewins Igor Stravinsky Petrouchka Leo Tolstoy • War and Peace (un-abridged) The Sage Handbook of Chemistry and Physics CLXVIII FOREWORD This is a humor magazine. Although the main purpose of PIT is to make fur, especially of ourselves, this is one rage that must be serious. We fecl that on this campus there is a vacuum in the field of huncrous writing. Whether or not this marezine will fill that vacuum is yours to determine. Less important then the merits of this first issue are its potentialities for future develop-ment. This magazine will be either a success or a failure. In eitner case it is desirable that we, the editors, venein anonymous for the first issue. Should PIT meet with apr-roval, we shall crawl out of our holes; and should it be a feilure, this anonymity may well save our necks. We unge you to give us your suggestions and manuscripts. THE EDITORS DDDXLI POMES By JEAN COCTAIL romes ls corny, Chey ain't no fun. Don't give no pleasure To anyone. I'a rather go 'ta movie or see a football game Than hear a mess of poetry Read by a dame.' But one good thàng 'bout pomes You just gotta say--They really teach a guy To speak English O.K. FORMULISM A New Philosophy from Caltech (Avant-Garde Litterature) Prepared and translated from the original Piglatin by MARIO STANZA, helplessly) that is, without anyone's help An exciting new philosophy has been born on the left-smog-bank in the heart of the gay city of Pasadena. Formulism, an engrossing innovation in literature and allied arts, has been sweeping over the campus of the world famed California Institute of Technology; and seems destined to spread to all parts of the . nation. It is with this in mind that I now present the basic concepts of Formulism so as to give you an inside track when the philosophy hits the public. Formulism itself is a new idea which re- quires that each symbol in its literary works represent a separate unit by itself. Tone and beauty of form are all that are important in the sound of this language of art--Formulism. Early attempts at Formulism go much farther back than the philosophy itself, One of the first examples, a notable success, wag the following work from the Caltech campus: n + 1 EX EX EX dx ax dx EX đx dx EX ax Slide rule • Tech, Tech, Tech, Tech, Tech. With the exception of the lass two lines, which male no sense at all, this is a perfect example of Formulism. AU CINEMA When it comes to the cinema, Formulism is the newest thing. Naturally there are no whole people on the screen during any of the Formulist movies. This is considered taking the easy way out. Creative effort is emphasized in the movies. The following is a scenario from one of the earlier movies, Baguettes de Tambour du Dinaon Primier, Drumsticks of the First Turkey• BAGUETTES DE TAMBOUR DU DINDON PRIMIER IMAGE. In the midale of the screen a Venus's-fly- trap opens and closes in time with the Formu-list poem which follows. In the upper right and lower left, two hands appear, waving goodbye to each other--also in time to the poetry. n + 2 Through the whole screen a huge sine curve flows gently by, with due regard for the poetical meter. This gives the distinct impression of quietness and solitude combined with just a dash of boredom. SOUND. This Formulist poem is read in a slow, easy tempo as indicated. T r2 x đx đx đx 人と人Y 人人人 HXYo (With strict rhythm. Each accented syllable comes at the peak of a sine wave) Y 3 tt m m mC mc 入 C ++ + + a S 2 2 S t 2 2e 9 ） a gh p.lo 18 ba t) S 亡. + b n t a a a e algle ly 0 h gh gh. n + 3 н M b声 bF a: bas c:a...• Doesn't this give you an easy-going, languid sensation? But now comes the excitement! IMAGE. The sine curve becomes garbled and fuzzy and emerges seconds later as a cosine curve! ! The peace and serenity of the scene is again broken by a swarm of wasps which enters the picture from the right upper corner. The Venus's-fly-trap tries vainly to catch these insects and in so doing develops a terrible neurosis and goes berserk. It uproots itself and races about the screen after the two hands which are now covered with bee stings. The whole scene is accompanied by the following Formulist poetry. SOUND. As bees enter! CHORUS: 2 2 Z 2 Z 2X ZX đx đx đx đx đx đx 12020₴ H2 ① (Quickly and someWhat gutturally) (Sharp and short as marching soldiers) (Note that Formulism is not limited to math symbols alone) n + 4 Uraniun! (Lout and explosive. Ai this point the Venus's-flytrap uproots itself) SOLO: Very fast: (Notice the rhyme here. Very unus- T ual in Formulist poetry) ADDING MORE VOICES ON EACH SYMBOL: ax dx dx đx đx dx (Louder to a ax dx dx dx dx ax climax 2,3-dimothy1-7-oxabicyclo- (2 2,3-dicarboxyl1c anhydride! /2,1) heptane- (Very loud and fast; in one quick breath. At this, everything on the screen drops limp and dead) IMAGE AND SOUND. The sound is the first verse repeated over again and the image is similar to the original only that the Venus's-flytrap opens and closes on the peak of every other sine wave and the hands wave twice as fast. This - symbolism indicates that all returns to its original state of life, with only small changes, in spite of minor interruptions. Modesty prevents me from going any fur- ther with this scenario, but if any readers are particularly interested in it, just send $10.00 in stamps to MARIO STANZA, % Napa Institution for the Mentally Derangea, Napa, California, and a copy will be sent to you freight charges collect. n +5 PIT P ENDU-L UM UMGAWA By ALEXANDR SERGEEYOSEEYEVITCH PYERYEKRYESTYASSOLNOVITCHNIKOV Translated from the original Russian into. Navajo Indian by SUN, HIM SHINE BRIGHT and BLUE MOON HIS HOLINESS, COUNT ALEXANDR SERBEEYOS-BEYEVITCH PYERYEKRYESTYASSOLNOV ITCHNIKCV, a distant relative of RASKOLNIKOVITSKIY SER-GEEYOSEEYEV ITCH PYERYEKRYESTYASSOLNOV ITCHNI- KOV, was one of the lesser known poets of his era. It has remained for modern times, however, to realize how completely insignificant he really was. Any additional information may be obtained by writing to the Russian consulate in New York. --THE TRANSLATORS. UMGAWA Anakareninana Hoslo hoslo breslo Pi meson kokakola Kodak dakota dakota kodak Molybdenum bartok Syko, syko nix on nix on. n +7 "GONE ARE THE DAYS" By AND BY There has passed from the American scene something irreplaceable, and its absence pro-auces two pains in me, one in my heart, one in my pocket. First let me unourden myself of the latter, for it is from this that the other stens. What has happened to the nickel? I fear that it, like its noble predecessor to extinction, the penny, has gone the way of that engraved upon it. The penny went the way of Lincoln; the nickel, the way of the buffalo. There is present here a sign of creeping change, and I hope that I will not be here to chronicle its final ascension to triumph. Yet, the disappearance of these two monetary units has not touched me so deeply as the simultaneous loss to the nation of the things dependent upon them. Gone is the day of the has widened the chasm between now and the "good old days." Gone is the 5g telephone call, and the 5e beer. In fact, in my writing so far I have used something alos extinct--gone is the cent sign! More than all these already mentioned n + 8 two mene things have gone which are the cruelest blows yet. Yes, gone are the candy store and the 5 and 10: Those who still refuse to acknowledge brute fact will say that the latter still exists, and to them I must nod in agreement but add that one thing is different--the decimal point has moved. Where today is the child who can remember the joy of letting his eyes roam about the wonderful fairyland panoramas of these two establishments, metal instead of paper in his hand with which to make his purchases? Where today is the chila who knows how it feels to get a nickel from his father or mother and then run to the store pressing it so tigatly that the Indian rides the buff-alo, because he hnows how many wonderful things he can get in exchange for it? I can remember the shelf upon shelf of sweets which bathed my eyes and made me stagger a little beneath the tremendous decision I knew I would have to make, and now it is all sone. I remember the jelly beans, fifteen for a penny, the Easter bunnies and eggs, a penny each, the chocolate Santas on Christmas and the chocolate turkeys on Thanksgiving, also a penny each, the long sticks of peppermint and licorice, two for a penny, the rows of candy buttons on paper strips, also a penny and, of course, the all-day-sucker, symbol of the rich--that cost all of a nickel. Yes, they are gone now along with the low prices of everything familiar in the present $-50 and $1.00 store. n + 9 Therefore, let us pause a moment, and, after this brief post-mortem, let us say a requiem for these two lost vestiges of happier days, and, most especially, let us add a word for the metal discs which have caused their demise. Having done so, let us now add a pre-mortem also, for I see an approaching spectre--the passing of the dime. n + 10 PIECE By LOUIE THE LOUSE SY 5-2384 ! SY 4-6759 ! SY 5-2384 ! SY 4-6:59 : (Do you think she will?) (Do you think she will?) SY 2-9829 Braaakh! SY 5-2384 ! SY 4-6759 ! n + 11 70,000 copies of PIT, Autumn 1952, printed by the Olive Press - Pasadena, California set in 12 point Underwood and printed on Saturn Laid Wrapping paper. December 1952