California Tech, v. 97:[30], June 7, 1996

More Foxtrots than you can hold on a page! Media Guy Says his final good-bye's see page 3 see page 6 THE CALIFORNIA TECH VOLUME XCVII, NUMBER 23 PASADENA, CALIFORNIA FRIDAY,JUNE 7, 1996 Stallmate at the Bookstore Two week ban brings Barnes and Noble takeover under question of faculty committee BY TED RIVET was informed of this monumen- nity to contact Professor Lance tal decision. The ensuing pro- Davis (e-mail led@hss.caltech. The Caltech bookstore is currently going through major reorganizational changes which may include the transfer of control of the bookstore to a outside contractor. On the May first the Vice-presi-dent of student affairs Gary Lorden gave the "pink" slip to the manager of the bookstore Judi Capron. It was not until the oth of may that the bookstore employees and the rest of the Caltech community test over the control of the book edu or mail code 228-77) with store has caused a faculty review their viewpoints to be brought of the action to take place. A before the faculty committee. memo was sent out to the com- In her June 6th interview munity by Gary Lorden regard- with The California Tech, Judi ing this committee. At this time Capron stated that she and the the fate of the bookstore hangs rest of the bookstore staff had in the balance. never been given the opportu- The memo stated that this nity to counter offer to main- faculty committee will report on tain their position in the book- the status of their deliberations store. In a previous interview on June 10th. This leaves only with The California Tech Gary one business day for concerned Lorden was heard to say that members of the Caltech commu- SEE BOOKSTORE ON PAGE 7 Bookstore Under Siege Dan Kevles elected to the American Philosophical Society BY JAY ALLER PASADENA-Daniel J. Kevles, the Koepfli Professor of the Humanities at Caltech, was elected to membership in the American Philosophical Society at their annual meeting April 26 in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. Kevles is one of 31 resident and 8 foreign members elected this year, and his election brings the number of APS members on the Caltech faculty to 15. Kevles, who is chair of the faculty at Caltech, studies and teaches in the fields of history, politics, and ethics as they apply to science. His wide range of interests is evident in the books he has written or coauthored: The Physi-cists: The History of a Scientific Community in Modern America; In the Name of Eu-genics: Genetics and the Uses of Human Heredity; and most recently, The Code of Codes: Scientific and Social Issues in the Human Genome Project. Kevles's historical articles and essays have appeared in dozens of diverse publications ranging from The New Yorker and Los Angeles Times Magazine to Physics Today, Biotechnol-ogy, Isis, and The Journal of American History. Kevles earned is First the American Philosophical Society, tommorow the world! bachelor's degree in physics in of the most prestigious 1960, and his doctorate in his- learned societies in the tory in 1964, both from United States devoted to the Princeton University. That same advancement of scientific year he joined the faculty at and scholarly inquiry. Caltech, where he recently led Founded by Benjamin the effort to create a new major Franklin and his friends in called Science, Ethics, and So- 1743, it is now an interna- ciety. In addition to his research tional organization of 723 and teaching duties, Kevles members that promotes ex- heads Caltech's Science, Ethics, cellence and useful knowl- and Public Policy program, edge in the sciences and hu- which brings to campus promi- manities through scholarly nent speakers on important is- research, professional meet- sues of the day. ings, publications, library re- The American Philosophi- sources, and community ser- cal Society is the oldest and one vice. PHOTO COURTESy O The ASCIT Van ban Has a command been issued or a compromise been found? BY JIM ChENG able, Dean Kiewiet said, "As it currently stands, insurance will After a minor accident last Wednesday during Ditch Day, usage of the ASCIT van has temporarily been suspended by the Dean of Students, Rod Kiewiet, pending a review of the insurance and usage policies for the vehicle. On Ditch Day, the ASCIT van was used in senior Art Clarke's stack, in which the driver of the van had accidentally hit a parked car while pulling out of a parking spot, causing minor damage to the car's taillight. This incident prompted the Dean to investigate the van's insurance coverage and Caltech's liability for it, as well as whether the van's current usage policies were in line with Caltech's motor pool policy, which insures the vehicle. Caltech's current insurance for the van is rather question- IN THIS ISSUE decline coverage (for the ASCIT van)." Dean Kiewiet has temporarily taken the keys to the vehicle, as he notes that the current irregularity of the van's check-out procedures is putting students at undue risk Dean Kiewiet is calling a student committee composed of ASCIT officers to revise the usage policies for the van with Caltech insurance specialist Karen Porter to be held on Friday, saying that as soon as the van with be released to ASCIT once the insurance and usage guidelines have been revised The Dean added, "I regret that it incovenienced people, but there was nothing I could do about it." ASCIT President Dave Relyea has said that he expects changes to come particularly in SEE VAN ON PAGE 7 THE USUAL STUFF THIs WEEk'S FEATURES ANK SPACE VILLANI, MEDIA GUY CROSSWORD PUZZLE CRIME AND INCIDENT BEAT EVENTS AND NOTICES 2 June 7, 1996 LETTERS TO THE EDITOR Senior gift should be a present, not a protest As a senior this year, all I ever hear is complaining about the senior class gift last year. It seems the loudest voices are those who hate the logos. But, I love the logo in Braun Gym. I think it it one of the best Senior class gifts ever given. There are a lot of people interested in athletics here, and a gift is supposed to be something to benefit others - not to benefit you. There are about 200 student athletes at this school, not to mention all the people who come to watch the events, and those who use the gym. You can't deny that the senior class gift was something for a lot of different people. But there is also the pride issue. As an athlete, I get to see a lot of gyms. We travel to different schools and something is the same in all of them - they all have their school emblem on the wall. The word "Caltech" does not even appear anywhere else in our gym except in this new logo. It is hard to have school spirit when Caltech is losing and you're sitting in the gym staring at a blank wall. The gift of the Class of 1995 positively changed my life, as well as made part of Braun Gym belong to the stu-dents. When I come back for alumni matches or for class re-unions, I will go to Braun and look at the logo that is still there and think, "What a thoughtful gift." When the logo was revealed at the ACME All Sports Banquet last year, it was to tremendous applause. I did not hear any complaints that day. Everyone in that room was happy that we finally had what everyone else had - our school seal in our gym. For those of you complaining about the van logos for this year, I challenge you to come up with something better. This situation is so typical of Caltech. All of you are sitting around complaining, but no one has come up with anything. Only Lloyd House has actually come up with any serious ideas. For all of you people who think the Predator is a good idea, come on! What are you think-ing?! We will go down in history as the class that gave the Predator. I am leaving Caltech a better person. I had a great experience playing sports, being in student government, and LAMMLE THEATRES ESQUIRE 2670 E. Colorado Blvd. (818) 793-6149 COLORADO 2588 E. Colorado Blvd. (818) 796-9704 A hit at Telluride Jean-Paul Rappeneau Welcome to the Dollhouse The Horseman on the Root Daily 5:30, 7:45, 9:50 p.m. Sat-Sun Bargain Matinee 1:15 p.m. Sat-Sun Regular Matinee 3:20 p.m. Daily 4:30, 7:00, 9:30 p.m. Sat-Sun Bargain Matinee 1:45 p.m. INTERNATIONAL STUDENTS: We offer the best for the least WORLDWIDE MOVERS AIR • SEA • PACK • CRATE • SHIP • AUTO • HOUSEHOLD • Special low Rates to Europe, South East Amla and Aflea Fast, Worry-Free Service AMERICAN EXPORT LINES 800-477-LESS (5377) Since 1974 meeting tons of brilliant people. I want to give something back. We have the chance to give a real gift that will help others. We can do something for student athletes, make the SAC courtyard more beautiful, or give to the Y. Everyone benefits from the Y - from Decompression to noon concerts to discounted tickets - and they need money for more pro-grams. There are choices - your money can go to something that will help others. And it's only $20. We all owe Caltech something. If you don't feel that way, you really missed out on some great opportunities at Tech. nating from Student Affairs and its various branches over the last decade. Under possibly well- meaning but nevertheless misguided leadership, the unique quality of the undergraduate experience at Caltech has been severely diminished. For ex- ample, the decline of the role of the MOSH in student life, the demise of many cherished traditions such as creative pranks, and the rise in the climate of adversity and mistrust between students and the rest of the Institute are all a direct consequence of the actions of the Student Affairs Offices over the last several years. These have nothing to do with "changing times" or "unavoidable forces" outside Caltech often cited as the reason LAURA VERHOFF for unpopular changes, but are instead a result of a few individuals' way of running things. Bookstore As a former undergrad at Caltech in the early 80's, I, and many alums, mourn the loss to current students of the valuable The extent of Gary Lorden's and enriching undergraduate ex- mishandling of the Caltech perience Caltech once offered. Bookstore thing seems to know As to the bookstore, I'm not no bounds. As if his initial poor sure of the best way to restore it judgment wasn't enough, he to the level of quality it was 10- now waits over TWO WEEKS 20 years ago, or better yet make after the formation of a commit-it even better, but a Barnes & tee to review the proposed Noble outlet is not my notion of changes in the bookstore to in- what Caltech needs. I think the form the Caltech Community of answer won't be found focusing the existence of said committee on whether or not the bookstore and the opportunity to provide supports itself on the proceeds input, in his memo of June 6th. from its sales. It may be that a This leaves only 2 business days store as small as Caltech's can't for people to express any input remain profitable while provid- before the committee presents ing the selection, prices, and its findings on June 10th. level of service we desire. Even more disturbing than doubt Barnes & Noble has any this particular fiasco is the on- magic ways of changing this, going history of poor decisions and if they promise large divi- and questionable actions origi- dends without guaranteeing EGG DONORS WANTED DO YOU WANT TO HELP A CHILDLESS COUPLE IN A SPECIAL WAY? Professional Couple (college professor and husband) with great dog seek someone who will help them have the child they have always wanted. If you are: of Western/Northern European background and 5'5" or less, please call Myrna at 310-829-6782. Very Generous Compensation Provided Ship It Home From The Friendliest Box Store in Town Packing -- Shipping - - Anywhere and The Lowest Prices on Boxes & Packing Materials UPS & FedEx Shipping WOW! A 10% DISCOUNT With This Ad BOX CITY "OVER 2,000 SIZES" 2650 E. Colorado Blvd. (Across From Denny's; Pasadena, CA 91107 (818) 432-1678 THE CALIFORNIA TECH them in writing, I would be sus-picious. If the kind of bookstore Caltech wants will not support itself, then so be it. The grounds maintenance department does not pay for itself, but is regarded as a necessary expense in order to have a nice campus. (I hope there isn't a plan to place grounds admission toll booths around campus!) A bookstore with the desired parameters may also necessitate a subsidy. Be-sides, I suspect that a quality bookstore's potential drain on Caltech's funds is a tiny fraction of a percent, and yet would directly benefit the research and educational operations of the Institute. This is not to say that the bookstore shouldn't be run with the greatest possible effi-ciency, but I think efficiency can be optimized without throwing out the whole thing. -Kevin Cooper Associate Engineer, Applied Physics Dept. Please send submissions for letters to the editor to The California Tech Caltech 40-58 Pasadena, CA 91125 or by electronic mail to editors@tech.caltech.edu. Deadline for submissions is Monday at Spm on the week of publi-cation. The editors reserve the right to edit or refuse to print any letter for any reason. All letters must be signed. THE COFFEEHOUSE PRESENTS: PRECOMPRESSION WITH FOOD SPECIALS AND A SPECIAL PREFORMANCE BY: KAI KIL AND CHUMP FRIDAY, JUNE 7TH STARTING AT 9PM SPONSORED BY THE STUDENT ACTIVITIES CENTER AND THE CALTECH Y OH YA, AND ALL THE CD'S ARE THE CALIFORNIA TECH EDITORIAL The California Tech editors and staff would like to congratulate the departing Senior class for all they have put into the school as well as what they have gone through. We of all people know the tremendous drain on time and energy that Caltech can put on a student over their undergraduate years and while going off to work or Graduate school or just sitting around we hope that you remember your fellow students as well as your student Newspaper. Being that this is the last issue of the school year, we feel that it would be a good idea to point out what is occurring in student life for those who might want to remember what had occurred. In term of buildings Moore laboratory has been total completed as well as the construction of the New off campus housing called Avery House. The bookstore ap- pears will be closing with a unprecedented wave of commercialism for a Barnes and Noble bookstore which we, as the editors, feel was not put before fairly before the students of the school and nearly not the faculty. While this new bookstore might be shinier and larger, it will not be Caltech's with Caltech employees who do not simply exist to make profit for their corporate masters. This might be the bookstore employees last year so please if you will leave before it has resolved wish them luck. Also in the works as we go to press is the confiscation of the ASCIT van by the leaving Dean Rod Kewiet. Somehow a simple accident in which nearly no damages was done to the vehicles involved has bereft the student community of their main mean of transportation. The person who checked out the van had claimed responsibility for the damages but because of reasons unknown the student body was left vanless with the words "re-evaluating" being the only phrase. For much of Caltech history only as small number of staff were given housing, it seems that the two assistants to the director of residence life seem to suddenly rate this privilege. It simply is incomprehensible that someone could change their domain so much that their help rates such accom-modations. The DRL has crimped many school traditions which MUST not be allowed to die. Fireballs in Ricketts are a pointed ex-ample, for all the years which fireballs have been done safely in the Ricketts firepot, it has suddenly become too dangerous for mere students to deal with. Somehow it seems that the traditions of Caltech are being destroyed, with it the creative spark which once cause awe inspiring deeds to be done. The last good prank was the Hollywood sign, since then nothing of note has occurred practically without exception. We are glad to have been the editors of The California Tech and as the voice of the campus it seems that these thing could not go unsaid. The Editors THIS SPACE LEFT INTENTIONALLY BLANK June 7, 1996 3 The Outside World by Myfanwy Callahan HONG KONG - On Tuesday, cus on positive developments, the seventh annual memorial rather than emphasize the for the victims of the many obstacles to free elec- Tienanmen massacre was tions. His statement angered held. Many fear that China many of his staff. His chief of will suppress such protests af- staff resigned two weeks ago ter Hong Kong is reintegrated. because of the apparent deci- On the same day, additional sion to push through elections police were sent to Tienanmen whether fair or not. square, and one woman was arrested when she tried to lay flowers there. KIEV, UKRAINE— The Ukraine officially completed its nuclear disarmament on Tues-day, after inheriting many of the former USSR's nuclear weapons. In a ceremony at the Pervomaisk base, the defense secretaries from the US, Rus-sia, and the Ukraine scattered sunflower seeds. NOVOSIBIrSK, RUSSIA -With less than two weeks left till elections, Yeltsin's primary opponent, Gennadi A. Zyuganov, is desperately seeking to form a coalition. The once confident Communist Party candidate has lost popularity in the polls, while Yeltsin's popularity rises. VIENNA, AUSTRIA An American diplomat heading a team to ensure fair elections in Bosnia told his staff to fo- WASHINGTON, DC - A Japanese naval destroyer accidentally shot down an American bomber during joint military exercises in the central Pacific The two crew members bailed out safely. Their plane had been towing the gunnery target PRINCETON, NJ - In his commencement speech at Princeton University on Tues-day, Clinton announced a proposed $1500 tax credit aimed at the first two years of col-lege. His goal is to make the first two years of college as universal as high school edu-cation. THE CALIFORNA TECH Caltech 40-58 SAC, Pasadena, CA 91125 adverbols tecn.edu VOLUME XCVII, NUMBER 24 APRIL 26, 1996 EDITORS shay chin samantha onzeriar Autumn Loonen SISTRABUTION sander Granat Lydia McKay Jim Pierce STAFE SARITERS Mason Porter Manwy Callaha Samson Timoner Shay Chinn Tayour Fatson FeaTUre WRITER Adam Villani EveNTs & NoTIces The Technogeeks INSIDE WORLD EDITO! aura Brady BUSINESS MANAGER Heidi Eldenburg Donna Ebenstein ANussEn Published weckly except during vacation ae exammation nemods by the Associated student: of the California Institute of Technology, Inc. The pinions expressed herein are strictly those of the authors "siters and anaoncement are weleom All contributions should include the author's name and phone number and the intended date of publica submit cony (orecrany on Macintosh 3. disk) to the Tech mailbox outside SAC room 40, or serve the right to edit and abnidge all submissions for hitcracy. cxpodiency. cc. AM arucies are the pron erty of the authors. Authors and columnists retain Articles recieved in bin-fter format white be accepted The Cutort tech is distributco frec. issue: will he mailed off-campus upon receipt of $11 per year to cover third-class postage and preparation costs ranted by tews lyre dervice, orche The article about the departure of the Dean was not purposefully left authorless: undergraduate feature writer Keith Counsell was both the interviewer and writer if this story. We apologize for any confusion this may have caused. CRIME AND INCIDENT BEAT CORRECTION May 44, 1440 •Theft At approximately 5:50 pm, security responded to a report of a theft in the Jorgenson building. Three vending machine on the first floor were damaged, and the money removed from the machines. Estimated loss is $200. May 26, 1996 •False Fire Alarm At approximately 7:20 am security responded to a fire alarm at the Sloan and Kellogg buildings. It was determined that the alarm was activated by electronic equipment in room 056. May 27, 1996 •Incident While driving on Holliston Av-enue, a student stuck a car battery that had been place in the middle of the street. The student drove into the Holliston parking structure to report the incident to security. No damage reported to the studentís vehicle. May 27, 1996 •Noise Complaint Security responded to a report of someone or something on the roof of 280 South Holliston. Security investi- gated the area and found nothing unusual. May 29, 1996 • Vehicle Damage Victim stated he parked his vehicle in arms circle at approximately 9:00 am. Upon returning to his vehicle at approximately 1:50 pm, he discovered his left side view mirror and left front fender was damaged. 4 June 7, 1996 THE CALIFORNIA TECH ADAM VILLANI, MEDIA GUY: THE FINALE by Adam Villani Twister vs. Mission: Impossible The first round in the battle of the summer blockbusters has been fought, and while there is no clear box office champion yet between Mission: Impossible and Twister, the Tom Cruise spy thriller is by far the superior film. Twister, the first out of the gate, has about 30 minutes of impressive tornado scenes weakly strung together by about 60 minutes of some of the most excruciatingly bad story, dialogue, and character development ever to infect a movie screen. To be fair, the photography is good and Helen Hunt should be given a break, since it appears that she accidentally wandered onto the set from a nearby film crew making a movie about people that weren't morons. One of the most laughable elements of the picture is the "bad" stormchaser and his regiment who travel in uniform black minivans who "used to care about the science, but then... got corporate sponsorship." Curiously enough, a large pile of aluminum cans that figures into the story later on is all Pepsi products. Mission: Impossible may not be the greatest thriller ever released, but it's positively Hitchcockian next to tripe like Twister. Brian DePalma's directorial return to big budgets is an exciting and clever adaptation of the TV series anchored by three satisfying caper set pieces, with plenty to recommend in-between to cover up the occasional moments of embarrassing dialogue or plot holes. Giving away too much of the plot would spoil it, but you should know that you should not go into the theatre expecting a $60 million episode of the TV se-ries— certain premises, story ideas, and elements such as the theme music are used from the source mate-rial, but the tone and plot of the movie are much more like a standard action thriller. Mission: Impossible is engaging and suspenseful, hallmarks of skill on the part of the writers, director, and edi-tor, whereas the only skilled work on Twister was done by the visual effects guys and the studio execs who'll be raking in the bucks from it. Media Guy is a great idea, but they only seem to show it when the ball is dead anyway, so there's no motion. Weren't we supposed to be able to follow runners rounding third on their way home while the camera shows us the right fielder scrambling to get control of a one-hopper off the wall? The marketing of stars can only help baseball, but an annoying and needless aspect of this was the fact that they cut away from the Dodgers-Mets game to show the Seattle game every time Ken Griffey Jr. came to bat. That's no way to follow a ball game; it distracts those of us trying to watch the main game and gives no context to anyone trying to follow the game with Griffey. How about a quick look at what progress was made in the Seattle game when we come back from commercials rather than interrupting the middle of a play?There's nothing overtly wrong with any of the ideas Fox has for sprucing up the National Pastime; I'm all for anything that will snatch adherents back from football or basket-ball, but there needs to be some fine-tuning so that both old and new baseball fans will be satisfied. Pierre Boulez with the L.A. Philharmonic The last few weeks French com-poser, conductor, and promoter of 20th century music Pierre Boulez has been in town, performing with the Los Angeles Philharmonic and acting as the music director of the Ojai festival's 50th anniversary. On May 17th at the Dorothy Chandler Pavilion, Boulez conducted a fantastic program of Stravinsky, Bartók, Ravel, and Boulez' own compositions. Stravinsky's Agon was fine though un-remarkable, but was followed by two Rhapsodies for Violin and Orchestra by Bela Bartok. Scheduled soloist Vadim Repin was sick, so concertmaster Martin Chalifour stepped in on short notice and played not just com-petently, but played with an astonishing amount of vigor that brought the crowd to its feet. The applause was even stronger after Chalifour's amazing performance of Ravel's fiery Tzigane after the intermission. The crowd wasn't quite so warm to Boulez' challenging Livre pour cordes (a few people walked ou), but I thought it was a fascinating piece, with the movement of the action from one side of the string section to the other akin to someone playing with the balance knob of the orchestra. Those who left missed out The Arrival on Boulez' extraordinary orchestration of While The Arrival is unfortu- his Notations. Watching Nota- nately being eclipsed at the box tions, in four compact three- office by bigger, louder minute parts, was like movies, it is a rare watching the orchestra beast from Hollywood explode-lots of per- these days— a science cussion, lots of dissonance, fiction movie that's really science fiction, not lots of motion, and the double basses were even being bowed by two people an action movie peppered with a few aliens or robots. In The Arrival Charlie each! My appreciation of the concert was greatly enhanced by the "Upbeat Sheen plays a JPL radio astronomer who receives signals sent from space Live" pre-concert lecture. Anyone interested in modern or classical music which eventually leads him to discover that aliens are infiltrating the Earth can learn a lot by seeing it performed live; the Caltech Y has schedules for the and causing global warming. Writer-director David Twohy, who wrote The L.A. Phil, and you can get student rush tickets pretty cheap by showing up Fugitive, has made an intriguing movie with an intelligent, suspenseful story and buying your tickets just before the show. You can even connect to htip:/ and a surprising amount of real science to go with the science fiction. The /www.laphil.org. neat special effects sequences in this movie serve the story, not the other way around-and while the effects are not as advanced as Jurassic Park's, the acting not as accomplished as in Taxi Driver, and the adventure not up to the level of Indiana Jones excitement, The Arrival is a good movie worth watching on its own merits. Batu Gita A few weeks ago a friend and I drove out to Cal Arts in Valencia to see a percussion ensemble called Batu Gita perform in concert. Composed of recent Cal Arts graduates, Batu Gita uses amplified gongs and malletophones made from slabs of rock, providing accompaniment to three interpretive danc- Baseball on Fox ers. They also have a guy chanting and, on one song, a guy playing a trom- There's been a lot of hype about the Fox's "Same Game, New Attitude" bone, and even bowing it with a violin bow. Yes, the whole thing was ex- coverage of baseball, with miked bases, on-screen base diagrams, and more tremely artsy, but it was pretty cool, too. Their most interesting piece was an marketing of stars. I must say that it's not all that great. About all the miked interpretation of three haiku, and the musicians let us check out their gongs bases seem to do is let you hear the umpire make the calls; you don't get to after the show. I have no idea where these guys will be playing next, but if hear Tommy Lasorda mouth obscenities any more than you used to. The you're in the mood for it, pretend you're part of the cultural élite for an evening diagrams on the screen with dots moving around the bases as the runners do and see how you like it. THE CALIFORNIA TECH CROSSWORD by Wei-Hwa Huang 20 22 110 T11 26 27 18 28 31 34 35 136 38 |39 41 142 47 48 50 54 755 56 59 60 163 ACROSS Wade's opponent With 4-down, a breath mint Up arrow, on a keyboard 12. He played Mr. Roper on "Three's Company" 13. Rage 14. "See the tree, how big it's 15. "Partner" of Endax 16. Carton or jar 18. More cool 20. It's state bird is the seagull 21. Girl of Green Gables 22. Ford lemon 24. Proper reply to impropriety 28. Gnarly 29. Go off course 30. Type of chemistry scale 31. of "won on the playing fields CATBERT, HR. DIRECTOR WALLY, IT MIGHT NOT SEEM FAIR THAT NEW EMPLOYEES ARE PAID MORE THAN YOU... SO I'M THINKING ILL RESIGN, THEN I'LL REAPPLY FOR MY CURRENT JOB AT A HIGHER SALARY. HÈ SLIPS IN LIKE A PANTHER TO TAKE THE LAST CUP OF COFFEE AND NOT MAKE MORE MOM WANTED ME TO BE A MANAGER LIKE YOU. BUT I CHOSE MY OWN 132 137 140 143 44 45 46 49 151 52 57 58 61 32. More honed 34. The Ewings, e.g. 37. The Far East 38. Cheated on a cut 40. Pierce player 41. Like 31-down, except for musicals 42. Powdered Iris 44. One way to confirm congruent triangles 47. The right-most digit in an integer 48. A large piccolo? 49. Go insane 50. Join metal together 51. Fame 53. Went with 58. Turkish dollar 59. Mountain nymph 60. Gin maker 61. First name of 40-across 62. Fill-in workers BUT YOU COULD ALWAYS, QUIT AND THEN REAPPLY FOR YOUR OLD JOB AT A HIGHER SALARY. I JUST MIGHT DO THAT!! woul 100 MIND RUBBING THIS CATNIP ALL OVER YOUR BODY FIRST? THAT'S A GOOD PLAN EXCEPT FOR THE FACT THAT YOU'RE THOROUGHLY UNQUALIFIED FOR YOUR CURRENT JOB. I NEED TO IM MORE Or UNREALISTIC A CO-WORKER PLANS WITH THAN A A FRIEND FRIEND, WHO ISNT AN PER SE ENGINEER I AM PHIL, THE PRINCE OF INSUFFICIENT LIGHT! I DARN YOU ТО HECK!!! PHIL? eature Syndicate. YOU WERE ALWAYS MOM'S GOLDEN BOY. SOMEBODY BROUGHT POTATO SALAD GIVE ME YOUR SPOON I BECAME PHIL, THE RULEK Or HECK, PUNISHER OF MINOR SIN1 CORPORATE SPONSORSHIP. "PROCTER AND GAMBLE" PAYS METO STAY AWAY FROM THEM HOW DO YOU MAKE MONEY? YOU SHOULD SELL EXERCISE SPOONS. 63. Ant. ant. 64. People, or at least half of them DOWN Come ashore yet again Dove branch 3. IF's sometimes partner See 4-across Raise the attention of Places in the middle 7. Like 15-down, except for Iran 8. - polloi 9. Shanty 10. Charge 11. Son of Odin 12. Animals Like 7-down, except for Rus- 17. Ex-world chess champion Mikhail 19. How one makes something 32-across 23. Lion's lair 24. Hindi garments 25. Wolf-like 26. Indeed, in Hebrew 27. Shampoo with conditioner 29. There are 39 of them 30. Fflam and Shakspeare 31. Like 41-across, except for television 33. Better by the church 34. Prefix for eight 35. Flatten with heat 36. Straight curve 39. Stevedore's tool 40. There is none in Ricketts House 43. With great impoliteness 44. Frog-like 45. The devil 46. Imitates 48. Freaks 49. Chapel spike 50. Clumps of cash 52. Doub. _ tournaments 53. Place to sleep 54. Metal mine munition 55. RAM and ROM 56. Father, colloquially 57. Ruckus Solution to this week's puzzle: E TAC SH UA NINE R AD ER S m T LIM E R M ON 人 S NES OM R 2 m M DILBERT R by Scott Adams THIS IS PHIL, RULER OF HECK, WITH A SPECIAL OFFER FOR MY PATENTED "EXERSPOON." I NEED THIS INFORMATION TODAY. PLUS A COMPLETE ANALYSIS OF THE ALTERNATIVES WALLY, I NEED YOUR INPUT ON THIS BY THE END OF THE DAY. WHEN DILBERT COMES BY, TELL HIM TO ADD "WALK THE TALK" TO HIS PRESENTATION June 7, 1996 5 PCC students win top national mathematics honors BY PCC PUBLIC RELATIONS Eight students from Pasadena City College have earned the honor of being the top mathematics team in the country. They won the National Championship in the American Mathematical Association of Two-Year Colleges Student League Mathematics Competition. This is the second year in a row that the PCC team has won the national championship and the fourth year since the start of its participation. Since 1989 PCC has ranked either first of second place nationwide. The eight members are" Liya Su, Lin Shi, Sai-Yin Leung, Yong Cheng, Xiang Wang, Jeong-Hun Moon, Tronghieu Huynh and Lei Jin About 100 colleges participate in this competition, which is held in three rounds: Novem-ber, February, and April. Each round consists of 20 questions covering topics from algebra trigonometry, probability, and precalculus. The same test is given all over the country. The tests are scored and a team score is earned by each college The team score for PCC was 474.5 points. The other top schools are: American River College (Sacramento) with 467.5 points, de Anza College in Cupertino with 458 points and Santa Monica College with 432.5 points. Twelve out of the top 14 colleges nationwide individual champion, earning perfect scores in two out of the three rounds YOU CAN DO OVER SEVEN MILLION EXERCISES WITH AND THANKS TO THE INNOVATIVE SPOON SHAPE STORAGE IS A BREEZE! EVEN TRIMS PROBLEM AREAS! THAT CRINKLE CRINKLE STUFF NICE IN TODAY'S LESSON, YOU LEARN THAT YOURE MY CO-WORKER, NOT PLEASE DROP YOUR REQUEST HERE, , IN "WALLY'S PILE OF PERPETUAL IGNORAGE.'" CAN'T I JUST GIVE IT TO YOU? I DON'T LIKE TO TOUCH THAT STUFF WITH MY HANDS HE WANTS YOU TO USE A "WALKIE-TALKIE" TO DO THE PRESENTATION UM. DID HE SAY WHY? HEY, LOOK AT MY PAYCHECK! I JUST REALIZED DON'T GET PAID THE BIG BUCKS! June 7, 1996 HALT AND SUBMIT TO THE MIND SCAN OF "BRAINITOR, THE GUARDIAN OF SECURITY. DO YOU SEE "TIME" A SEQUENCE OF DISCRETE EVENTS OR SIMPLY A LINE OF PERCEPTION THROUGH INFINITE POSSIBILITIES? ALTHOUGH WE ARE NOTHING BUT POND SCUM IN THIS COMPANY... DILBERT THE BAG CONTAINS ONE COMPUTER... "PENTIUM" PROCESSOR... ONE GIG HARD DRIVE... HIGHLY FRAGMENTED... I SEE "TIME" AS MORE OF A MAGAZINE. IT'S NICE TO KNOW WE CAN STILL FIND SOMEONE OF LOWER STATUS TO TORMENT. OF COURSE, OUR BUYING DECISION WILLBE BASED SOLELY ON QUANTIFIABLE PERFORMANCE MEASURE-MENTS. PLEASE WAIT WHILE I OPTIMIZE YOUR HARD DISK.. THIS IS VAGUELY UNSETTLING YOU KNOW THESE MOMENTS WE HAVE TOGETHER - WE REALLY MUST HAVE THEM LESS OFTEN. ASK ME ABOUT "LIFE." YOU CALL THESE BROCHURES? HOW CAN I EVEN CONSIDER BUYING PRODUCTS FROM A "VEN-DUH" SUCH AS YOU? TELL ME IF THIS HURTS YOUR COMPETITOR COMPLETED THE "VENDOR CHALLENGE COURSE" IN 375 SECONDS. I AND HE GAVE US VERY NICE T-SHIRTS. COMICS by Scott Adams DILBERT, I FOUND YOUR FATHER. HE'S BEEN AT THE "ALL YOU CAN EAT" RESTAURANT IN THE MALL SINCE 1989 HE'S SO LITERAL - HE DIDN'T WANT TO LEAVE UNTIL IT WAS "ALL HE COULD EAT." I CAN'T BELIEVE YOUR FATHER HAS BEEN LIVING IN THE "ALL YOU CAN EAT RESTAURANT SINCE 1989! AND THAT'S THE MARKETING PLAN. ANY COMMENTS? TORMENTING THE VENDOR YOU MUST DO OUR BIDDING, VENDOR. ECONOMIC FUTURE. FoxTrot EXPERIMENT #1: I AM EXPOSING A RAT TO M COMPANY'S MARKETING YOU HAVE THE ODDEST FAMILY. WHAT DID HE LOOK LIKE WHEN AFTER ALL THESE YEARS? IT APPEARS TO BE A BUNCH OF OBVIOUS GENERALITIES AND WISHFUL THINKING WITH NO APPARENT BUSINESS VALUE. HE SEEMS TO HAVE NO ADVERSE RESPONSETO THE INTRODUCTION AND BACKGROUND THE CALIFORNIA TECH WHEN'S HE COMING HOME I'M THINKING OF JOINING HIM. HE GOT A BOOTH I HAVEN'T SEEN HIM YET. IM WALTIN FOR "BURRITO NIGHT." NOW IS WHEN YOU SHOULD BE SAYING "JUST KIDDING MARKETING I CIRCLED (DIDN'T TURN) ALL THE OUT TO BE WORDS YOU THE GLAMOUR) WON'T FIND CAREER I IN ANY EXPECTED DICTIONARY. THIS IS ALREADY FAR MORE EXPOSURE THAN HUMANS COULD TOLERATE SALES PROJECTIONS BRAIN TUMOR.. by Bill Amend BWAA HAHA HA HA HA HAAAAAA! CORECTLY FoxTrot THE CALIFORNIA TECH VAN: New usage revisions to be enforced CONTINUED FROM PAGEI the usage policies for the vehicle to bring the ASCIT van in line with the insurance policy covering the Caltech motor pool. Relyea further adds that if a temporary policy is approved in today's meeting, it may be possible to secure the ASCIT van for student use. A permanent usage policy is likely to be released by next Friday, which would return control of the vehicle back to ASCIT. by Bill Amend NO June 7, 1996 Information Here. CERN CORAL 珊 瑚 estaured * * Award Winner ** Mandarin Cuisine & Seafood Cocktail Lounge Lunch Specials $450 11:30-3 p.m. Early Bird Specials $625 3-7 p.m. Classic Dinners 3-10 p.m. Food To Go Welcome OPEN 7 DAYS Tel: 449-8018 2475 E. Colorado • Pasadena between Sierra Madre Blvd. & Altadena Dr. Free Parking in Rear CLASSIFIED ADS FOUND & LOST- LOST: ROTARY BLADE PAPER CUTTER Last seen in California Tech office several monuns age. Please retum to ine leen once in 40 SAC as soon as possible. HOUSING- $300/MONTH ROOM FOR RENT furnished (including bar-refrigerator and microwave) Large yard with trees, quiet. Off-street parking. Share bath (with one other), share kitchen and laundry use. Available mid-June. Call (818) 797-8386, ask for Dan. PERSONAL- EGG AND SPERM DONORS desperately wanted by infertile, hopeful parents. Substantial compensation. All races needed. Ages 21-35. Please call OPTIONS at (800) 886-9373. SUMMER JOBS SUMMER OBSERVERS There are several positions oven Ter summer employment at the Big Bear Solar Observatory. The jobs involve solar telescope operation, electronics work, computer programming, eic. Free housing at Big Bear is provided, and cooking facilities (boats, etc.) as well. Some astronomy, physics, computer science, or electronics would be useful. Positions on campus also available. Applications are available in 264 West Bridge, or can be obtained by calling x4011. RATES.... • $4.00 for first 30 words; ...10¢ for each additional word. Send written ad with payment to 40-58. Deadline is 6 p.m., Monday before issue. No charge for on-campus lost & found. BOOKSTORE CONTINUED FROM PAGE 1 Barnes and Noble is going in, with a surprising finality. However with an interview today during Rod Kewiet's stepping down as Dean, Lorden became rescinded, asserting only his support for the Barnes and Noble take over. 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Colorado Bl., Pasadena, CA. 91106 (West of Allen Ave) TECH 8181568-0439 FAX (818)568-9132 8 June 7, 1996 Announcements • Varsity Letter Jackets are now $40 due to the small number of people who have signed up. Signup sheets will remain in the houses til next week. Mints re denotes a new announcement. Saturday, June 7th (7 to 11pm) and 8th (I to 5pm) in Club Room I, and Sunday, June 9th, in the Winnett Lounge from I to 5pm. For more information, call T.A.C.I.T. at 6259. Bisexual Support Group, which meets on the first and third Tuesdays of each month from 7:30pm till 10:00pm in the Health Center Lost: a Pentax 70R IQZoom, lost during Ditch Day. If you have found it, please call 395-1081. lounze. Ims is a connacnuar inceune and di-tending does not imply anything about a Christor soch, Proresser of biology, canech, persons sexal orentiononly thai ne or and Richard Andersen, Professor of Neuro- she is willing to be supportive in this setting. The Caltech Bookstore is holding an al- science, Caltech, will hold a Biology 0. 1 Semi- The group usually discusses a particular rel- most" storewide inventory reduction sale with nar entitled "Is there a biological basis for evant topic and then moves on to the general 30% savings on all clothing, supplies, and gift consciousness and perception?" on Friday, discussion. Refreshments are served. If you items and 20% off all books. Sale excludes June lin. a com in the baxter Lecture Hil would like more information, please call foods, drinks, textbooks, magazines, film pro- This series is intended for nonspecialists in- cossins, ind socch orders. ode lems cannot terested in the biologicalresearch revolution be combined with any other discounts or items of the past decade. JPL employees as well as already marked down. campus and communty thembers we always mvnico. reoarmory leacine macmars avail- Fellowships and Scholarships Events able in Millikan Reserve the Monday prior to each lecture. a The Caltech Management Association will be hosting Adriana Ocampo, JPL research scienust in a lecture entried Dew omosaur ten no lates, nu rocks do on Monday, June 10th, at 12 noon in the von Karman Audito-rium. All employees are wlecome to attend this event. From the Fellowships Advising and Resources Office, extension 2150, email lauren stoler wsturpusercanccn.cuu. mhis nonness valal Lama is coming to the southland in a rare appearance at the Pasadena Civic. His Holiness will render the teach- miss on unce unciod outs, and cive Lone Life Ceremony and Avaloketsvara Initiation for three days. the teacnings will De given 1n Tibetan and translated to Chinese and English simultaneously. Admission is $100 for three days; the daily teaching hours will be from Yam to I2pm and then 2pm to Som daly from July 31st to August Ist at the Pasadena Civic ans summer me cartech matroom dance Club will continue to hold waltz and salsa classes. The Waltz classes will be held Mondays from 7 to 8:30pm in Dabney Lounge (NOT Dabney House dining hall); the first class win de neid June aro, salsa classes. a usual, will be 7 to 8:30pm on Wednesdays in Winnett. There will be no Friday classes beginning in June. Four classes will cost $20 per person ($22 for non Caltech or JPL associ- aled persons. Au levels of cancers are en. couraged to join: no partner is needed. For more information, contact John Carri at jearri @ligo.caltech.edu or 7929679. Applications for the Hertz scholarship, which is open to seniors and graduate students with a 3.75 GPA or above who are U.S. citizens or who can provided documented evidence of application for U.S. citizenship, are coming soon. If you want to receive an application when they arrive, please e-mail your name and mail code to the Fellowships Advising Office at kuren_johnson@starbasel.caltech.edu. i vou nave cuestons. mease e-mal ne Tel lowship advisior, Lauren Stolper at lauren_stolper@starbasel. caltech.edu. From the Counseling Center T.A.C.I.T. auditions for the spectacular T.A.C.I.T. performance of Fantasio, a romance by Alfred de Musset to be preformed November, 1996, will be held on Friday and Looking vor a sare ane sapporuve place to aise cuss issues such as coming out, being out, dealing with family coping with a homophobic culture, and being GLB at Caltech? Want somewhere iust to make new Inenas! ou are invied to the tavestar Applications for the Fulbright Fellowship for graduating seniors and for grad students seeking postdoctoral positions abroad are also coming. IT you a like to receive an appaca-tion, please send the mail code or address you can be reached at through June to lauren_ stolper@starbasel caltech.edu. Students who want applications for the Marshall, rhodes, Luce. waisoh. ind churchin ine who have not as yet sent their names can send them STOP!!! PAYES PACH BENES FURYONE BOXES, PACKAGING & SHIPPING BOX BROTHERS® sadea broadwoy.glandale WE CARRY A FULL LINE OF BOXES PACKAGING AND SHIPPING SUPPLIES AT THE LOWEST PRICES GUARANTEED!!! Rag Time on Green RESALE CLOTHING WOMEN 1136 E. Green St. • Pasadena (818) 796-9924 Wed 10-6 • Mon-Tue-Thu-Fri 10-5 @ Sat 10-3 FREE PICKUP, FREE DELIVERY". ANNERE 818-07600 GLENDALE EMAIL GOODS@GREENNEART.COM 818-395-7700 PASADENA 200 LB MINIMUM/100S SUPPLIES- -10% OFF WITH CAL TECH ID ACADEMY BARBER SHOP 27 N Catalina Ave., Pasadena Open Tues.-Sat., 7:30A.M. -4:00 P.M. (818) 449-1681. SEEKING Asian Egg Donors Help an infertile couple $ $ Rewarding $ $ Financially and Emotionally SPOT CALL! 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Nol Valid with PARIS 249* LONDON AMSTERDAM FRANKFURT ATHENS NEW YORK $319* $324* $355* $449* $139* OPEN SATURDAYS 10 AM - 2 PM Council Travel 10904 Lindbrook Dr., Los Angeles, CA 90024 818-905-5777 http://www.ciee.org/cts/ctshome.htm EURAILPASSES ISSUED ON-THE-SPOT! to the e-mail address above as well. THE CALIFORNIA TECH juniorlevel student at a fouryear institution, committed to a career in public service as de- mned above, uno in me boget Gudrel Otts oi her class, and a U.S. citizen. If you are interested in applying for the Truman Scholarship, please contact the Dean of Students Office, 102 ParsonsGates. The deadline is late De-cember, 1996. The Lindbergh Foundation Grants Awards suppon innovauve lucas at meir carly sire of development. The grants are open to citizens of all countries and support research and educational projects that address in some way the balance between technology and the envi- ronment len grants in amounts oi up lo $10,580 are awarded each year. Applications are available through the Fellowships Advising Office. From the Financial Aid Office, 515 S. Wilson, second roor. From the Deans' Office, 102 ParsonsGates: The John Gyles Education Fund is offering financial assistance to students in Canada and ne unnce sures. cantoran or Amenican chur zenship and a minimum 2.7 GPA are required. Selected students will receive up to $2,500. Deadlines for 1996 are June 15 and November 15 (postmark date). To receive an appli- cation. send a stamped (U.s. s.32). selfaddressed No. 10 envelope to: The John uves roucanon rund, Mucnnon. K. James The Harry S. Truman Scholarship Foun-dation, established by Congress in 1975, is ine orticial Tederal meinorial to nonor our thirtythird President. The Foundation awards $30,000 meritbased scholarships to juniorlevel college students who wish to attend graduate school in preparation for careers in govern- mom or elsewnere in ouonc sornce. ochoiars may attend graduate schools in the oned States or in foreign countries. In 1997, up to 85 students will be awarded Truman Scholar-ships. They will receive leadership training, Braduate senoor counscung, preteremial du-mission and meritbased aid to some premier graduate institutions, and internship opportu nities with federal agencies. They will establish friendships with persons sharing similar values and interests. Scholars are eligible to receive $3,000 for the senior year of undergraduate education and sz/,ow for graduate studies. The Foundation defines public service as employment in: government at any level, uniformed services, pubic interest organiza-tions, nongovernmental research and/or edu- cutonal or can cations, and puone service on ented nonprofit organizations such as those whose primary purposes are to help needy or disadvantaged persons or to protect resources The eligibility requirements are: a fulltime Riverside Dr., Fredericton, New Brunswick, Canada E3B 5G4. The Jewish Family and Children's Services is pleased to announce the continued avail- abiny or mnancial support for Jewish 1nul-viduals and their families. JFCS provides nundrecs of students oins. grants. ind scho arships to Jewish students. Individuals may apply for up to $5,000. Special scholarships de avalladie lor study in stael. 10 oc ch- gible, students must have financial need, have at least a 3.0 GPA, and be residents of San Francisco, the Peninsula, Marin or Sonoma counties, or the Bay Area: There are no dead- mnes-porearons ure accence mrouchou the year: The Financial Aid Office has appli-cations. The Nuclear Age Peace Foundation announces its Lena Chang Scholarship Awards for 199697. The Foundation will be award- ing two $2,500 scholarships to undergraduate minority students who can demonstrate financial need and academic excellence. Applications are available at the Financial Aid Office and are due to the Nuclear Age Peace Foundation no later than July 1st. 1996 SOLDE PARIAN TRAVEL Caltech Officially Approved Most professional, courteous, economical and efficient service for your official and personal travel needs. Free service to you. We deliver Airlines, Cruises, Tours, Hotels, Car Rentals. Individual, Commercial, Groups. (818) 577-8200 468 S. Sierra Madre Blvd., Pasadena ADULT CD ROM INTERACTIVE GAMES / MOVIES NEW RELEASES VIRTUAL SEX SHOOT $35 PLEASURE PARK 2 $40 LATEX $40 SPACE SIRENS II $35 OTHER TITLES VIRTUAL SEX $35 VIRTUAL VALERIE 2 $35 CYBERSTRIP POKER/BLACKJACK $35 We also carry all of the latest XXX movies on CD-ROM from $12-$15 ALL CD-ROMS ARE IBM/MAC COMPATIBLE Send check or money order to: VT INTERNATIONAL PO Box 726 Rancho Cucamonga CA 91730 or call for a catalog (909) 313-9458 VISA/MC ACCEPTED MUST BE 18 OR OLDER! THE CALIFORNA TECH Caltech 40-58 SAC Pasadena, California, 91125