California Tech, v. 107:29, May 30, 2006

THE CALIFORNIA TECH VOLUME CVII, NUMBER 29 PASADENA, CALIFORNIA MAY 30, 2006 Jean-Lou Chameau Named Next Institute President BY: CHANDRA BARNETT The word of the day was "charming" as, on Friday morn-ing, the next President of the California Institute of Technology was introduced to the public. As of September 1st, Georgia Tech Provost Jean-Lou Chameau will join the Caltech community as its eighth President. However, at Friday's afternoon barbeque on San Pasqual Mall, it was evident that Dr. Chameau has no intention of waiting until fall to start meeting and greeting his new compa-triots. Friday morning, speaking to a packed house at Beckman Audi-torium, Kent Kresa, Chairman of the Caltech Board of Trustees, first introduced those assembled Dr. Chameau, whose face greeted all comers from a large projection screen. He went on to CAT TECH name the members of the Search Committee, who nave since last October to identify and select the best candidates for the presidential position. "We owe them a debt of gratitude", he stat-ed, "for their dedication and ser-vice," which frequently included last-minute plane rides and time away from families for the sake of the search process. eror David stevenson. who Outgoing Institute President David Baltimore (right) shakes the hand of his successor, Jean-Lou Chameau (middle). On the right is chaired the Search Committee Kent Kresa, Chairman of the Caltech Board of Trustees. Chameau's Presidency beings on September 1st. over the past eight months, was called upon to discuss for the first staff, and even alumni. was no doubt a major factor in Referring to the present day as a From time the long and difficult selec- this smaller candidate his selection, the provost himself "time of change in .. science and tion process. From an initial field pool, the committee then solic- also proved personally engaging. technology education," he ex- of over 160 candidates, the search ited information from the candi- "[Chameau] impressed the search pressed the Search Committee's committee devoted six months of dates' home institutions, working committee with his intelligence, confidence that Chameau is well- interviews and careful research to build a complete picture of his vision, his personality, and suited to the challenges and op- to producing a "short list" of the each one. Stevenson noted that his extensive administrative and portunities that this presents. strongest candidates. During this although it is very easy for indi-fundraising experience and suc Stevenson next gave a brief time, the committee consulted viduals in leadership positions to cess," said Stevenson, voicing the biography of our next president. with groups from all parts of the attract negative reviews, Chame- hope that he will be "an engaging Touching on Chameau's early ed- au's associates painted an unfail-and energising presence" in the ucation in his native France, and Caltech community: graduate and undergraduate students, faculty, ingly positive portrait. While this Caltech and JPL communities. his current interests in sustainability and interdisciplinary re-search, he also noted that the provost has demonstrated remarkable accomplishments towards pro- moting diversity in the scientific world. After once again thanking the members of the Search and Trustee Selection Committees, he yielded the floor to outgoing President David Baltimore. CONTINUED ON PAGE 3 Students, Administrators Discuss Caltech Policies at Open House offensive murals were just one how the Houses looked. to think that security could have gate repairs for the mods. "The is- BY: MARISSA CEVALLOS complaint in a list of many, the When students responded that records of which buildings they sue is that damages occur-let's Students challenged a handful majority of which would be moot some of the murals were "pieces entered and at what time. Such stop damages from occurring!" of administrators to answer for, with the South House repairs. of art," Chang conceded that there a record would be possible with said Chang. amongst other issues, the mural Leighland Feinman, a sophomore were quite a few murals that were both card swipes and thumbprint When students argued that the policy, security into the South in Blacker, said "If the houses are obviously inoffensive and should scanners. materials were relatively inex- Houses, and the mod gate repairs in fact musty, dank, dark, falling be left untouched. Daniel Rowlands and other pensive, Chang gave an analogy at last week's Open House. apart, etc., then Housing should Students were also concerned students mentioned the inconve- of the last time he got his car re- Students found the least com-focus on that and let the students about the security for the newly mon ground with administrators handle the murals, as the commu- renovated South Houses. Said nience of always having to carry paired. "It's the labor that makes a student ID, especially when one up most of the cost," said Chang. discussing Housing's mandate to nity rejects murals which are not Tim Chang, the most viable op- would have to call security when The Open House was held on remove certain murals from the liked by the house." tons are "card access or room locked out. Wednesday, May 24, in the Page houses. Tim Chang, Director of Chang emphasized the number key, though we are trying to get Feinman also brought up the courtyard from 4:00-5:30 PM. Housing, emphasized the neces-of complaints he has received on the cost of a thumbprint scan- possibility of religious discrimi- Transcriptions from student account of the murals, from trust- come down-it's about nation if the card swipes were in- notes of the Open Hall, as well sity of placating temporary visitors like summer students who ees to alums. In addition, he said $53,000 to install card swipes, stalled, since Orthodox Jews can- as other events such as the Town provide income; he also cited the pre-frosh and their parents have but $100,000 for a thumbprint not use electricity on the Sabbath. Hall meeting, Lat be found at many complaints he has fielded complained about the murals, and scanner." "If they use card access security, townhall.caltech.edu. Some from non-Caltech students about said "You can ask admissions if Students met each proposal with then I'm going to sue for discrim-quotes and content are from Dan- the houses being unclean with of- you don't believe me" that par-raised eyebrows. Privacy was a ination," said Feinman. el Rowlands' transcription of the fensive murals. ents said their children were not big concern with students, several Students also wanted to know Open House which can be found Students responded that the coming to Caltech because of of whom said that it was "scary" why so much money was spent on at the site. ASCIT President on the new President Page 4 In This Issue Windows Vista preview The easiest and cheapest meal Flem party falls flat Another way to select the President Page 4 Page 5 Page 6 Page 8 The Best of Feynman: '78 Commencement Speech Page 7 2 THE CALIFORNIA TECH NEWS The Outside World! son. consumer friendly place, by slow- BY: HAMILTON FALK Jefferson, D-Louisiana, is under ing down the web sites of people More Than 3,000 Dead investigation for corruption due to and companies that were unwill- accusations of bribery, including ing or could not afford the fees. After Indonesian Quake a Kentucky businessmen who has More than 3,000 people have been killed and up to 150,000 ing him with $400,000. Because displaced from their homes af- Jefferson is a congressmen and ter a magnitude 6.3 earthquake the FBI and justice department struck central Java, Indonesia on Saturday. A limited supply of congressional leaders claim that critical medical supplies threat- the search was an unconstituton ens to increase the death toll, and al violation of the separation of lack of space in hospitals has left powers and have demanded that many people to receive medical treatment in hallways and on the investigation and be returned to street. UNICEF. the American Red Cross and the Indonesian Red Cross have responded by supplying medical supplies, ter purification equipment, tem- reasonable methods of obtaining President Bush spoke to cadets at West Point military academy, and stated that the early days of the fight against terrorism were similar to the beginning of the Cold War. Bush compared himself to President Harry Truman, claiming that both administrations had not been pop-ular, but that Bush was preparing the United States to eventually win the fight against terrorism in the groundwork for the defeat porary housing and other relief The hardest hit area on the heavily populated island of Java documents for 45 days while the issue is resolved. The statements that the officials may step down was Bantul, where an estimated 80% of the district was complete- discussed his hopes of bringing peace to the Middle East, and his belief that repression in that area was the main cause of global ter- earthquake, like the 2004 tsunami that killed 130,000 people, was the Asia-Pacific's "ring of fire," which is partially located under- hit two other ations, and were not directed at the President. Due to the 45 day are returned or used in the inves- A new law that would prevent several thousand miles from the quake in Indonesia. A 6.7 magnitude earthquake struck Tonga, a small South Pacific nation with a population of approximately subcommittee by Congress. This companies to put a premium on and FBI Officials Threaten Resignation Paul McNulty, and FBI Director Robert Mueller have suggested that they would resign if forced to return materials taken in the Congress members from both ma- stitutional action after documents were removed during a search of the office of Rep. William Jeffer- Minutes from the Side Room in Wednesday, May 24, 2006 Jean Sun, Vickie Pon, Jonathan Senn, Chris Gonzales, Craig Montuori, Chris Gonzales, Na- than Donnellan, Chris Watson Absent Officers: RJ Krom Guests: Vivian U, Shelby Mon- lague. Cecilia Yu, Gina Gage, Mary Dunlop 1. Funding Requests * Vivian U asked to receive funding for Neil Miller, Andy Green, and herself to take Prof. Richard Ellis (Astronomy) out to lunch at the Ath. A vote approved this funding (7Y/0N/0A). * Craig, too, requested funding for Sara Peek, Alex Roper, and himself to take Prof. D. Roderick Kiewiet out to lunch at the Ath. approved this funding (7Y/0N/0A). * Gina also asked for Dima Ker-nasovskiy and herself to take Prof. Shelley Bennett (Art History) out to lunch at the Ath. A vote approved this funding (8Y/ON/OA). Shelby requested funding the campus-wide Wine Tasting event coming up soon. The BoD took a vote to grant this event $500: Vote approved (7Y/ON/OA). Cecilia shared a proposal, requesting $300 to fund the Shake- internet service, and some legal allowing such a system would of buying bandwidth, event where all written works by Shakespeare are read by members this event $300: Vote approved * Mary announced the Women's Ultimate Frisbee team made it to Regionals! However, the Athletic Dept. will not fund them for this tournament, so Mary asked the Bob for help funding the registration fee ($50), and some of the transportation for the team. A vote was taken to grant the Women's Ultimate Frisbee team $100 to attend Regionals: Vote approved 2. ASCIT Formal (Sat. May 27) * ASCIT Formal is this upcoming Saturday!!! Tickets can be bought at the door for the same price as pre-sales. • The ASCIT BoD is expected to help out the Social Team at the 3. Happy Hour (Fri. June 2) ASCIT Happy Hour will be next Friday, June 2! Come drink, socialize, and be merry. 4. ASCIT Staff Awards * Chris W. found nice gift baskets for the ASCIT Staff Awards, in time for giving the awards by the end of the school year. 6. Revel Elephant Bench * The Elephant Bench to commemorate Prof. Jean-Paul Revel's many years as undergraduate Dean of student has arrived! Ryan Farmer, Nate, and Todd are working on the best way, place, and time to host an unveiling celebration for Prof. Revel. * Nate will purchase (and be reimbursed for) a small gift of compensation for the person's truck he borrowed to pick up the El- * IHC and the MOSH are hosting an Open House this afternoon (Wed., May 24) for undergrads to get the chance to ask questions and voice concerns to many of the administrators who will be there. Refreshments will be served, and we're hoping for a good turn out! Respectfully submitted, Vickie Pon ASCIT Secretary MAY 30, 2006 Announcements Don't Steal Ditch Day Shirts To those who removed several admittedly misunderstanding Ditch Day shirts from Ruddock House: was possible. Please return all the This shirts promptly, and, if you prefer, was a violation of the Honor Code. Many seniors put a anonymously. lot of time into those shirts, and the Day willingness depends of students would like to keep some for their leave items without families, their friends, and them- placing them under guard. selves. That the shirts were left in the hallway for a few hours did not mean that they were free, though Sincerely, Paul Nagami Pool Party Replaces Decompression BY: MARISSA CEVALLOS whatnot—and Pirates of the Ca- This Saturday, the Caltech Y ribbean Il is coming out a month later," said Adler. will host a pool party at Braun. The party takes the place of In addition to swimming, there Decompression, which is held the will be a BBQ, volleyball, and a weekend before finals week. screening of Pirates of the Carib- "Decompression bean wols about the same. It's usually about $2-4 "I just thought it would be real-per person for food. ly awesome to have a gigantic on- The Caltech Athletic facilities campus pool party," said Rebecca are donating the use of the pool, Adler, a senior, who is organizing but the cost for lifeguards is sev the event. eral hundred dollars. In addition, Both pools are being used, the movie-licensing fee is $300- and the movie will be projected $500, and games add a bit more to onto the side of the men's locker the bill. But, like Decompression, room. the bulk of the cost will invari- "What I especially like about ably come from feeding hungry the movie is that it contains all of Techers-the food is estimated to the elements that will get people cost a few thousand dollars Housing Contracts End June 10th Please keep in mind that your caltech.edu/undergrad/. This housing contract ends on Satur- form is required in order to prop- day, June 10th at 12:00pm. We erly check out and avoid the im- ask that you leave your room of proper check-out fee apartment reasonably clean, by Room Move Procedures: doing the following: If your room is going to be used Cabinets: Remove all items for a summer guest, please make from your kitchen and/or medicine cabinets. Please throw away ait sure you complete your move on Saturday, June 10th. If you need trash * Closets: Empty your closet of a key lo your new roon, you may stop by the Housing Office all personal belongings (including hangers. to pick one up. Our office will be * Drawers: Remove all personal open on Saturday and Sunday, belongings. If there are papers that June 10th & 11th from 9:00am to 12:00pm and 1:00pm to 3:00pm thing you don't want, please remove it, or throw it away. Check-Out Procedures: Please all residential keys to the UG Housing office, fully vacate your room or apart-ment, and submit your check-out / room move form at housing. Please remember to make ar rangements with the Telecommunications office or SBC to discon- unue your prote service It you have any questions, o concerns, please feel free to contact us athousing@caltech.eduor x6176. Four New Minors Offered Next Year BY: CSILLA FELSEN work and the senior thesis" which are normally required by those Starting next year, four new opuons, Standard requirement minors are going to be introduced across all of these minors are into the catalog, joining what is (1) Take 72 units of coursework currently the only offered minor: specific to the particular minor in Control and Dynamical Systems. courses which are numbered 99 In response to feedback from or above, (2) 9 of those units may Student Faculty Conferences and be fulfilled by a directed reading continued discussions since then course which is numbered 98, and faculty in the Humanities and So- (3) 9 of those units may be ful- cial Sciences department are prefilled by a maximum of one of the senting us with minors in English, introductory humanities courses History, History and Philosophy relevant to that option. Students of Science, and Philosophy. The who want to minor in these ar- change was recently approved by eas will also have to declare their the Curriculum Committee. minor with the option representa- As will be stated in the new tive course catalogs, these minors are If you have any questions about "designed for students who want the specific details of one of the- to pursue concentrated study" in minors, then please e-mail ARC their humanities field of interest Chair Csilla Felsen at arc@donut. "without the extensive course- caltech.edu. THE CALIFORNIA TECH NEWS MAY 30, 2006 Chameau Assimilating Into Caltech Culture CONTINUED FROM PAGE 1 learning from the students is very today, but I need first to listen to so many people, including you, "We should get together like this and learn about the place, about more often!" quipped Baltimore CT: How about the Honor the values and what are the issues as he took the stage, prompting Code? That's really central to us people see are important.. chuckles from the crowded audi- here. I don't know to what extent and then start to help, torium. Quickly turning serious, GA tech has it or relies on it, but and wherever I can. Right now, it he began by discussing the job he here it is kind of unique that we would be... has held for the past nine years. do rely on it completely, as the "The job of Caltech President is basis for all of our policies... a fascinating one," he remarked, JLC: We have an Honor Code too, and in fact I played a role "because the charge is very sim- at Georgia Tech, a number of ple. It's to maintain excellence." years ago now, to encourage the Speaking of Chameau in warm students. It is now a student- terms, Baltimore called him "the right person for this institution," run Honor Code, but initially, it came the first time [sic] out of before bringing the man himself, civil engineering, when 1 was at long last, to the podium. the chair of that school, it is fol- President-Select Chameau Jean-Lou lowed by the students very well. began his ten-min- You are known here to really be- ute address by admitting that he ing the best in terms of the use of found himself at a loss for words. the Honor Code, and I think it's He quickly found two, however: great. Don't expect me to make "honoured" and "humbled." any changes in that area! Chameau's first introduction to American academia came when CT: Have you checked out the he attended Stanford as a graduate house system at all? I notice that student. Expressing his delight at you've hung around with a lot of the opportunity to return to Cali- undergrads. fornia, he drew a round of hilarity with the observation that he went JLC: Not yet. I understand there to Stanford because of Caltech! is some good and also some... not In the 1970's, while a student at as good... situations. Clearly it's France's L'Ecole Nationale Su- something that Caltech needs to périeure des Arts et Metiérs, he look at and address, and I intend attended a lecture by a traveling to find out exactly what the situ- Caltech graduate, and for the first ation is, and figure out a plan as [here we are interrupted for a photo opportunity. JLC: he continues without missing a beat] impossible for me to imagine any major changes in a place like Caltech which is so... so cool. Any change you will make you have to think a lot about it, because it has to be for the bet-ter, and when something is going well, you must be very very care-ful. I will listen, and talk to people before I consider any kind of change, because the most important thing that the President and the administration ought to do is to ensure that Caltech will remain outstanding for many many years to come, and that the best students and the best faculty. it simply is not a situation where you come in with drastic changes By now, the characteristic cloud of students which had been enveloping the charismatic Chameau all had reassembled, and mindful of Stevenson's in- time became aware of the possi bility of international study. President-Select Jean-Lou Chameau addresses the Caltech community at a barbeque held in his honour. to how to address what the issues are. I understand that some of the Chameau's speech was imbued houses needed some [facilities] with a bubbling enthusiasm, both work. In terms of the culture, for Caltech and for the greater endeavors of science and engineering research. Speaking of a recent trip to JPL, he described himself as "a kid in a candy store." On the subject of our fair Institute, he waxed even more effusive. "It is a dream for me,' " he said, "to be able to come to Caltech at this volt in illy calec Caltech is able to do things that others may only dream of.' Chameau left the audience with a brief statement of his long-term goals for the presidency. "I look forward to bringing my love for the academy and for science and Caltech. I hope Caltech." Later in the afternoon, at an all-campus barbeque in honour of our new President, the Tech was able to distract Dr. Chameau from his assiduous mingling for a few moments - long enough to ask a few more pointed questions about how Chameau will adjust to Caltech, and vice-versa. Georgia Tech is a school of over 16,000 students, more than 10,000 of them undergraduates. We asked Jean-Lou what kind of learning curve he expected in learning to deal with our smaller, closer-knit community. in terms of the culture, at least, in think it's great, I think in fact ex- terms of the kind of people I have citing, to have the environment. been dealing with, it 1s a very I know that a few students were similar culture here. The learning complaining about the food but curve, I think, should not be too other than that it looks to me like difficult. What is really important a great way to be. In fact I would here to me, at least in the next few like to ask you the question, how months, is to really learn a lot of it is... it seems to me a great way the students, because, you know, to keep the students together, and clearly, as I said in my remarks, help them to communicate and you know it is the most amaz exchange their ideas. his time, we allowed him to carry on doing. what he seems to do best: talking with students... and listening. John Hasier, of Blacker Hovse, was overheard to mention the tradition carried on in a number of houses of "ponding" new house presidents, and ask whether Chameau himself might be convinced to participate Inclining his head and spreading his hands, he smiled. "Well, if I do not say yes, will you do it anyway? Why not. Sure. ing group, likely in the world. Because of the size, in fact, you CT: So in closing, do you have get the best, and the people are any changes, coming in, that you so smart and everything, I want would already be looking at mak- to learn from them, and to try to ing with Caltech? make sure that they are getting the technology attention, and that with the fac- JLC: Oh no... it would be pre- that I can inspire confidence to JLC: Georgia Tech is bigger in ulty, we understand how you feel sumptuous and even stupid of me take a risk and hopefully expand size, but in fact it's not too dif- about Caltech and how we can to mention a change now. I have the world's view of science and ferent in the sense it is very, still make it better. I expect, in terms learned a lot about Caltech the innovation... at the same time really focused on engineering, of learning curve, to have to learn last few weeks, and the interac- maintaining a commitment to the science... it is a technology insti- a lot about the faculty, a lot about tion between the different com- Although we should not insist in holding him to this off-handed promise, it is this writer's opinion that if Dr. Chameau does allow the ponding to proceed, his acquiescence should at least entitle him to one of our cleaner ponds. Read next week, as The Tech interviews Georgia Tech students about Dr. Chameau. unique qualities and values of tute as well. So in terms of the, the management issues, but also mittees, and I have learned more Benzer Wins Nation's Largest Prize in Medicine would have any relevance to hu- lab members. While he is himself BY: VIBHA LALJANI mans. When the genomes of both an extraordinarily accomplished organisms were sequenced, it be- researcher, his continued success Dr. Seymour Benzer, Caltech's came clear that many genes have over many decades is likely due James G. Boswell Professor of been conserved in evolution and to his ability to impart some of his Neuroscience, Emeritus and his indeed have similar functions." drive and personality on the many lab pioneered the study of Dro- Benzer said, "We have a lively varied individuals that have made sophila (fruit fly) behavior as a group of graduate students and up his lab." foundation for study and treat- postdocs who are continuing to Another student, Paul Nagami ment of neurological diseases in try to figure out how the genes said, "While I primarily work with humans such as Alzheimer's and and the nervous system of the fly my co-mentor, postdoc Dr. Bader Parkinson's. On April 28th, he work to control hunger, fear, sex, Al-Anzi, Dr. Benzer has always received the $500,000 Albany aging, and degenerative diseases. been ready to help if asked, and Medical Center Prize in Medicine These are model systems for un- I'm glad to have him as a mentor. and Biomedical Research. Some observations convinced derstanding corresponding genes Even though my summer research and mechanisms in people. Benzer that behavioral differenc is over, I have been happy enough Benzer was a Kesearch rel- with my experiences in the Ben- es were a result of genetics. He low at Caltech between 1949 and zer lab to continue working under decided that in order to be able 1950, a Visiting Associate be- my SURF co-mentor." to distinguish between "nature' tween 1959 and 1967 after which When asked how he felt about and "nurture' one would have to he became a Professor here and winning the prize, Benzer said, keep the environment continues to lead a lively research "Richard Feynman once told and modify the genes. The fruit group. His students are happy to me that, when informed that he fly was adopted because it is rela-have him as their mentor. had won the Einstein Prize, they tively convenient to manipulate Danial Knoepfle said, "Dr. Ben- pressed him for a response. His their genes and because they re- zer has been a fantastic mentor answer was 'Hot dog!' I guess that produce quickly, so many genera- He's probably the most innately puts it pretty well. His students tions of offspring can be studied curious person I've ever known. were thrilled about the within a short period of time. I imagine that his long history of same. Nagari said, "I was particularly Initially Benzer faced troubles success stems from his ability to happy that it was a large prize. As convincing others that the Dro-both ask interesting questions and was noted on the lab chalkboard. sophila was a good choice for identify and pursue the most inter- that's half a million dollars in lab researching human diseases. He esting of them. I think Dr. Benzer income." said, "One of the problems was has done a good job of inspiring to convince people The Albany Medical Cen- that many a culture of critical thinking and ter Prize is an annual prize an- aspects of behavior have a ge- discussion in his lab--the research nounced each spring to recog- netic basis. Another was to prove I did was much improved by the nize and enhance contribution to that the fruit fly, an invertebrate, comments and criticisms of other improvements in health care and Caltech professor Dr. Seymour Benzer, recipient of the 2006 AI-bany Medical Center Prize in Medicine and Biomedical Research 4 THE CALIFORNIA TECH FEATURES MAY 30, 2006 Todd's Paperside Chat Greetings to the New President from the ASCIT President The ASCIT President involved with student lead- the perception itself has led reflects on the impor ership at Caltech, my con- tance of communi- tact to significant conflict be- with Dr. Baltimore tween students and "the ad- cations between has been minimal. I under- ministration." stand that the President of dergradutes and the I strongly encourage Pres- a school such as Caltech is President and asks ident Chameau to actively extraordinarily busy, so I do enter some aspects of un- that students help ac- not wish to overly criticize dergraduate culture. I am quaint our new resi Dr. Baltimore. Neverthe- the first to admit that some dent to Caltech. less, I have heard that a few of the student traditions and past presidents have been house cultures can be in- significantly more success- timidating, but I think that I BY: TODD GINGRICH ful at remaining involved can trust the students to go As everyone has Iikely heard by now, Caltech has recently announced that Dr. Jean-Lou Chameau will be the new President. I am hopeful that Dr. Chameau will be able to help the gradual revival of student life at Caltech. He will be in a position to significantly improve the Caltech undergraduate ex-perience, but he will clearly have many demands on his time. I ask that the undergraduates warmly welcome Dr. Chameau into our culture so that he can become fully informed about undergraduate life on campus before he needs to make any major decisions. When I came to Caltech nearly two years ago I had never met President Balti-more, yet a few Crippling Depression comic strips had already convinced me that Baltimore was not a champion of undergraduate life. Even though I have been with undergraduates. out of their way to make our It is quite possible that Dr. new President feel at home. Baltimore's decisions would Through informal lines of not have changed even if he communication he will in- had frequently communi- teract with students on cated with undergraduates, meaningful level, helping to but I feel that frequent in- greatly reduce the percep- formal contact with undergraduates can be expected tion that there is a struggle between "us" and "them of the President. In my short This past year has re- time at Caltech, I have had vealed that Caltech is not the perception that Dr. Bal- immune from budgetary timore was removed from problems, so Dr. Chameau student issues. Whether or will undoubtedly have to not this was actually true, make some hard decisions. It is important that we remember that he is human and will occasionally make mistakes. In the past, undergraduate responses to administrative mistakes have been unnecessarily hostile. While pictures of presidents with money bags are amusing there are much more productive ways that we can resolve complaints. I am confident that Dr. Chameau will go out of his way to improve communication with undergraduates, so in return we should commit to resolving our issues in a mature manner. While students are prone to complaining about Caltech, the fact remains that Caltech is an amazing school. I welcome President Chameau to our unique world and wish him the best of luck. Technology Review Windows Vista Will Suck….. The Money Out of Your Wallet SVGA 800x600 monitor, and BY: TOM TSAI a Direct 9 compatible video card. Doesn't sound too bad, By now most of you should've heard about Windows Vista, Microsoft's long overdue operating system replacement for Windows XP. After countless delays and red tape, Redmond's flagship product is finally slated to hit store shelves by the beginning of next year. It is said that Vista, by far Microsoft's most ambitious and overhauled OS since Windows 95 (when operating systems hinally went 32-bit), teatures vastly improved security capabilities, a retooled graphic user interface that takes advantage of the powerful discrete graphics units in modern computers, and better user functions teatur ing search and metatools. It promises to be all the things Windows has not been for the consumer in years. Sounds great, but dark clouds lie ahead. Unless you own a Mac or are a purveyor of all things open source, you will most likely be running Microsoft Windows in some way, shape, or form. This means that everyone will have to conform to Microsoft's vision of the future for hardware on the PC, and even though new editions of Windows have generally required users to upgrade their computers, Microsoft seems to have exploded the system requirements for Vista this time around. According to official re-lease, the bare minimum computer configuration for running Windows Vista includes at least an 800MHz X86 CPU 512 MB of system RAM, 15 GB of free hard disk space, a right? Wrong. While these numbers sound standard issue by today's standard, they will only manage to allow you to eek by and run Vista with minimal features, without any of the eye candy that the new GUI delivers. Anyone who desires to run Vista with the Aero Glass interface turned on will need a 1+ GHz X86 -32 bit or -64 bit processor, 1 GB of RAM (that can deliver at least 1,800 MB/s of bandwidth, however that is calculated), 64 MB of graphics memory to drive a single monitor of less that 1,310,720 pixels, 128 MB to support resolutions between 1,310,720 and 2,304,000 pixels, and 256 MB of GPU memory to display at resolutions greater than 2,304,000 pixels. Windows Vista is going to have some nifty new features, like a new 3D graphic user interface. But it will be costly after all the necessary hardware upgrades. Confusing enough for you yet? Maybe not. But add in the fact that this DirectX 9 compatible video card of yours also would require support for the new Win- dows Display Driver Model, Pixel Shader 2.0 support, and have 32 bits of precision per pixel, not to mention that this WDDM driver requires monitors that support HDCP for DRM control of high definition multimedia content, and you have an upgrade crisis in your hands. People that are not going to buy new computers will definitely need several hundred dollars of upgrades to their current systems to have any kind of decent Vista experi-ence. On top of all this you'll is right for you. I emphasize this because there are going to be so many versions of Vista it'll send your head spinning into outer orbit. There's Home Home Basic, Premium, Business, Enterprise, etc. the list goes on and on... Vista Ultimate Edition, which includes all the new added features and bundled software, will most likely retail for $400 or even more, while Vista Home Basic, likely to be bundled with most entry-level mainstream OEM manufactured PCs, lacks some key features including the highly touted new Aero Glass interface, selling most consumers short on value Vista Home Premium will likely be the most popular version sold, yet will still lack some of the premium soitware that was designed for Vista to compete with the bundled product set of Apple's OSX. • Microsoft claims that the different platforms to suit different user budgets and needs, but who wants only half an operating sys-tem? Windows Vista is going to be a plague to the budget-conscious computer user, but the computer industry probably couldn't care less. In fact, most companies will probably be laughing all the way to the bank, because Vista is going to generate billions in revenue for more than just Microsoft, but hardware manufacturers and software developers alike. Simply put, despite all the progress that both Apple and Linux have made, Windows still dictates the flow of the computer market. Intel is waiting until the third quarter of this year to release its next generation desktop and mobile CPU chips, the Core 2. Both ATi and nVidia are also waiting until the end of the year to introduce their line of DirectX 10 compatible graphics units. Everyone is waiting for the massive onslaught on the consumers' bank accounts that is Windows Vista. have to decide which Vista future articles? Please contact the author at tomtsai@caltech.edu แกวงการเลทรนะนหม tAcากกา mors THE CALIFORNIA TECH Library Purchases Books for Recreation FEATURES MAY 30, 2006 Food Review Cheap and Easy Enough to Cook 5 So what exactly can you find? BY: MENG-MENG FU You can pick up a copy of Ange- BY: BRIAN HANLEY la's Ashes, a Stephen King novel, Last year, undergraduate members of the Library Committee (Meng-meng Fu, Arjun Bansal, and Nyssa Thompson), along with University Librarian Kimberly Douglas, wrote a proposal to the Moore Hufstedler Fund (MHE) to purchase more recreational reading materials for the Caltech Library. The on the library committee wanted to address the dearth of non-academic, leisure-reading books. The proposal for $20,000 was successful and funding has been used to purchase a variety of modern and classic iterature. sci-fi, special interest books, and even comics. The collection is easily accessible and browse-able. On the Caltech Library webpage (http:// library.caltech.edu/), there is direct link to "The Moore-Huf-stedler Leisure Reading Collec-tion". For the more old-fashioned, all MHF funded are housed on the third floor of the Sherman Fairchild Library. multiple copies of works by Or-son Scott Card, or the ever-popu-lar Harry Potter books. A large number of award-win-ning works (such as the Booker Prize or the Nobel Prize in Lit-erature) can also be found; examples include books by Gabriel Garcia Marquez, A.S. Byatt, and L. Doctorow Many current works are also available, such as Anne Proux's collection of short stories (including Mountain") and "Brokeback Yann Martel's Life of Pi. Initially, books were purchased based on an ASCIT survey on library materials conducted in 2005. Subsequently, undergraduate members of the Library Committee were given purchasing power of MHF-funded books. If you have any suggestions for books that you would like to see the library purchase through the MHF funding, contact the undergraduate members of the Library Committee. This year's members Nyssa Thompson, Angela You'll find me at the back of the soup aisle, sitting near the floor in a cardboard box. Right next to the Cup-of-Noodles, I wait, longing to be put in pot of boiling water so that I may be enjoyed. I'm Ramen. Delicious Ramen. And I'm one of the cheapest things to buy in the grocery store. I may cost ten cents or even twenty, but I'm a meal in a packet and with two cups of boiling wa-ter, I take only three minutes to make. You can even put little garnishes in the pot with me to add flavor or texture. You might add chicken, beef, or pork. Maybe a couple vegetables. Anyway you want me, I'm delicious and almost all the sustenance you'll ever need. A word of warning, you must have at least some variety (like chicken flavored, beef flavored, or maybe oriental flavored) so as to avoid scurvy. If you get scurvy, you cannot continue to enjoy my deliciousness and we can't have that now can we. Chang, and Brian Zhou. The Disorder to Cure ASAP rape and sexual assault, sexual Sexual arousal disorder is per- Josh Cornell, M.A. and intern at the coun seling center, explains symptoms, causes, and how to get help for sexual disorders. harassment, sexual abuse, and sistently inadequate vaginal lubri- pain during sexual intercourse or cation or swelling, while feeling gynecological exam can lead to sexually aroused. sexual problems. Other forms of child maltreatment including neglect and physical and emotional abuse can contribute to a sexual problem as well. Hamen You can even enjoy me just in noodle form. Why make a soup when you could make noodles and garnish them instead. You could use spaghetti sauce or bolo-gnaise, just eat me like pasta. I'm so simple to make, even a monkey could do it. Just boil two cups of water and toss me in. Wait three minutes, add the flavor packet (mmmmm, salty), stir and serve. Make two of me with just twice the water. A feast for 40 cents, a hobo's dream come true I'm cheap, I'm easy to make, and I'm easily made much better with small additions. I'm deli- cious and you should go buy me Buy me before the person sitting next to you does Buy a stockpile for just a few dollars. Go and buy me now. Buy me and celebrate. Have a party in my honor because I'm awesome. I'm Ramen. Eat me. BY: JOSH CORNELL Sexual problems are common among college students. According to the Research Kinsey Institute for Sex, Gender, and Reproduction, more than half of young adults report experiencing sexual problems at some point. Sources of Sexual function Dys- While factors contributing to sexual problems will be described individually, it is important to remember that most sexual problems have several causes that are often interrelated. For example, depression can cause sexual dysfunction. Many depressed people are treated using antidepressant medications that often affect sexual function-ing. Inadequate information and stress are the two most common cause of sexual dysfunction. More than half of sexual problems are a result of having unrealistic expectations about sexual performance and insufficient knowledge of human sexual physiology. Stress is the other major cause of sexual problems. Common stressors for college students are lack of sleep, inadequate nutri- 1101， substance academic Mensule, inadequate finances, and relationship difficulties. Other causes include physical illness, and use of medications, illegal drugs, and alcohol. For this reason, it is a good idea to seek medical consultation if you are concerned that you may have a sexual problem or have noticed a significant change in sexual functioning. Listed in the table are factors that may contribute to sexual dysfunction. Our environment plays a role in developing sexual problems as well. Sexual trauma including Common Sexual Prob lems Experiencing occasional sexual difficulty is normal These symptoms become problems only when they occur chronically. More than half of all young adults experience low sexual desire at some time. Getting Help Young adults have a hard time seeking help for sexual problems because they tend to believe that sexual problems are only supposed to happen to older people. Sexual pecially problems can be es- frightening for young adults, whose sexual confidence tends to be tied to their genital functioning. For highly gifted students who are expected to have all the an-swers, it may be difficult to admit Drink o the Week The DNA was avallable only on ditch day, BY:JOSHUA GUTMAN but I'm sure if you look around No, I'm not suggesting you you can ind photos of people enjoying probably one or the most drink a man made protein smooth-ie. The DNA is a drink you prob- exclusive beverages available on the market today in "red" form, ably never even thought to try yet but the classic "blanco" flavor can it has been available to you in so be made yours for absolutely no many varieties during your time cost today. here at Tech. You might find that this instant This particular beverage is in- party maker might be too much credibly smooth mostly because drink to handle and not enable to the fountains keep it well mixed. Unfortunately the drink can get that buzz you were looking for. only be made in 11,000 gallon I suggest you serve it with a portions, but as it is an instant bottle of Samuel Smith's Oat- party-maker you'll have no prob- meal Stout followed by a bottle of lem getting people to join in an Petrón tequila and I really think help you finish. you'll find the kick you were looking for. The drink is made as follows: -1 gene pool -5 lbs of Red 40 premixed into gene pool (optional) -Stir (preferably with 40' piece of pvc) -Enjoy As you can see it has available in two "flavors", one flavor IWarning: Bad things or at least very unpleasant things can happen to you if you do not allow the "red" variety to properly mix The following are potential side effects of improper mixing: discoloration of urine, discoloration of skin, discoloration of hair, discoloration of tears, discoloration of discharge, discoloration of ex-cretion, and of course death] Possible factors that contribute to sexual dysfunction. A long delay or lack of orgasm following typical range of sexual excitation and stimulation is common among women and some times occurs among men. The same is true of Dyspareu-nia, the experience of chronic painful intercourse. Erection dis-order, also known as impotence, is the inability to gain and/or maintain an erection and is the most common sexual problem that young men face. Many men experience premature ejaculation, which is ejaculation with minimal sexual stimulation that usually occurs near the initiation of intercourse. Sexual arousal disorder and vaginismus are common sexual problems that women face. Vagi- that you don't always know what to do. It's okay not to know. When it comes to sex, most people know very little. Sometimes, feelings of fear, shame and embarrassment make seeking help for sexual concerns difficult. With that in mind, it is encouraged that people who believe they have a sexual problem or who notice significant changes in their sexual functioning to get help Most people who seek treat- ment for sexual problems find relief. Sexual problems are often easily treated by providing accurate sex education and addressing beliefs that often get in the way of having an enjoyable sex life If you have a sexual health con-cern, l encourage you to get help. tions of muscles in the outer third of the vagina, usually in response to attempted insertion of a penis or other object. On campus resources for sexual health concerns include the Coun seling Center, Health Education Office, and the Health Center. The Gene Pool at Caltech obtained a red hue on Ditch Day this year (let) Due to the difficulties of fig uring out the color of a pond in a black and white photo we have included a picture of the Gene Pool in its normal state for contrast (below). Too by bayd chen Conditions Degal drugs •Neuropathy • Alcohol -Diabetes • Beta-blockers •Chronic fatigue •Cardiopulmonary disease •Diuretics •Metabolic Problems •Most antidepressants •Cancer Anti-psychotics •Sexually transmitted infections •Anti-epilepties •Multiple sclerosis And many others •Various psychological problems Irregular, scarred, or damaged tissue/structure of genitals and many others 6 THE CALIFORNIA TECH On Gas and Government BY: SIMON QUE COMMENTARY In the May 8 issue of this paper, Michael Salem wrote an article titled "Gas Can't Be Regulated by the Free Market," in response to my article on high gas prices the week before. Mr. Salem's objection to a free market in gasoline seems to be built on grounds of fairness. He states that "there is a sense that it is unfair for a few people to profit enormously due to the deprivation of a natural re-source" and that there ought to be a tax on gas profits that "allows prices to rise in accordance with the increased demand and scarcity of gas, but prevents a few people from benefiting dispropor-tionately." Those who own natural re- sources profit from their use, and there is nothing wrong with that. Resources should be used improve the lives of people. And they can often be renewed - forests can be planted, fish can be grown in fish farms, et cetera. To the extent that renewal is not pos-sible, consumers would use less of it once it became scarce and prices went up, and entrepreneurs would find and invest in alternative resources. More importantly, these resources should be viewed not as belonging to the earth but to the people and organizations that own them as property. Pri- vate ownership in the free market makes "price-system tion" possible. A tax on gas profits would thus not be necessary to preserve re- What role should the government have in setting gasoline prices? sources. Moreover, it is mistaken to assume that only a few people benefit from the sale of gas and that they should be taxed for it. In reality, everyone who is involved in the exchange benefits. In a sense, profits are simply a reward that buyers give suppliers for having risked time and money to make goods that people value available. If these profits were reduced by a gas profits tax, there would be fewer willing investors in the oil industry, as there 1s less gain for the same amount of risk. Some investors would seek out other markets, and gasoline would be less abundant and thus more costly for consumers. This becomes even more important in case of a sudden reduction in the availability of oil. Contrary to what a simple sup-ply-demand graph shows, sellers in the present but also in anticipation of future sales and profits This is why when the supply of gas is restricted, companies can still sell gasoline at all, having prepared for the possibility of such a scenario. If a tax reduced their profits, they would not have been as willing to invest in extra gasoline, and would have sought out other markets for investment. The gas tax would not reflect some sort of "public admission" about the gas market at all. Like all government interventions, it is really just an effort by those in the government to run society the way they think it should be run. Even with a democratically elected government, the wishes of a majority will overrule those who disagree. Moreover, politicians can always buy off those who disagree with other benefits, stock up on goods not just for sale Flem Party a Failure? the bartender, which is not a good BY: ANONYMOUS thing for me. So I looked to the right and noticed that Fleming had This picture, while not actually from BFP, is symbolic of the bev erages the average Techer could expect to find there. Free food and BEvERages. If there's one thing I've learned since coming to Caltech, it's that those two components are necessary to successfully hosting any type of social event at Caltech. Last Sunday, Fleming decided to violate this golden rule, and hosted their interhouse party with a minimal amount of drinks and no food at all. I showed up at around 11 PM and waited patiently in line for 10 minutes at the bar. When I visited Caltech during prefrosh weekend, I was completely shocked at the amount of alcohol that flowed freely but after a term in Page, I started to enjoy a couple drinks at each of the interhouse parties, especially since they would cost a fair amount of money at an outside bar. While I waited in line, I eagerly thought about what drink I would sample that night, but atter saying my request, I was carded by placed some non-alcoholic drinks on a table by the side. I wandered over there and to my utter disap-pointment, all I saw were 2-liter bottles of soda. Perhaps I've been spoiled by the milkshakes provided at vious pre- parties (kudos to Blacker and Ruddock especially), but I definitely expected more than just soda and water. At the least, maybe they would have some fruits of cookies to enjoy, but I didn't see any food placed out there. Lacking any decorations that caught my attention, I left the party immediately afterwards. To be fair, Fleming can not be fully blamed since Caltech has been much more strict about its Alcohol policy since the Apache incident last fall. Nonetheless, the point of this article is that there should be some type of consolation prize for those who can't drink-and I mean something better than soda! MAY 30, 2006 and thus would be re-elected in tion." In reality, "public lands" spite of, not because of, imposing are not owned by the public, but an unpopular gas tax. by the government, even if it is Mr. Salem also warns that as a democratic government. (That gas prices rise, it "allows only the auction of federal lands is un- those with the most money to democratic matters little anyway, obtain" the gasoline. Of course everyone who has a car "wants" because the lederal government should never have closed off the gasoline, but such a notion is lands in the first place, but should vague and ambiguous apart from have left them open to homestead- considering what people are willing once they were acquired.) ing to give up in exchange for Federal lands do not represent it, which is what a price system something of value that is held tells us. To restrict market prices in common for all the people would result in economic chaos, Instead the government has de- as gas would be sold arbitrarily. If prived society someone were sick and needed to of the benefits of productive use of this land: drive to a hospital, he could offer cheaper gasoline, more abun- up a large sum of money and buy dant lumber, jobs, and products some gas in a free market. But if People are poorer than they could there were a shortage due to price restrictions, he might have to wait otherise beas a efland ghe- ernment ownership of land. in due 110 matter how much he should be auctioned because the was willing to give up. amount that companies are will- A free market in gasoline does ing to pay reflects how much they not simply allow the rich outbid can expect to gain from it. middle- and lower-class people. And contrary to what Mr. Sa- There exist different levels of lem fears, these revenues ulti- products corresponding to differ- mately reflect how much people ent levels of wealth. For instance, value the land and are willing to there are used cars and new cars pay for the benefits gained from in the automobile market and these lands - goods and services condos, single-family homes, and that they would not have under mansions in the housing market. continued government occupation In the case of gasoline, gas sta- of land, no matter how much they tions sell gasoline at three differ- were willing to pay The auction ent quality levels. The rich can of public lands will allow them to have their high-quality super un- be used the way that people actu- leaded gas, and the rest of us can ally value, as individuals voting have regular gas with their dollars rather than as a To my suggestion that oil-rich collective mass at the ballot box public lands be auctioned, Mr. Salem claims that it "misses the point of the political process to decide how that land should be used... To open the lands to purchase is not to let the public decide how much it values oil preserva- Write for The Tech If you are interested in working for The Tech, feel free to attend Baltimore's Presidency our weekly meetings on Fridays from noon to 1PM at the Broad BY: JON SENN least four years ago, if at all. Cafe If we print your material, we For this reason I believe that will pay you up to the amounts If you were to ask nearly Baltimore's poor reputation listed (at 47011 discre- any student what is the gen- amongst undergrads is par-tion). Email submissions eral student conception of President Baltimore, tially un-warranted tech@caltech.edu. would they respond with some Based on my rather limited recollection, it seems that sort of allegation that he Baltimore's policy decisions does not care about under- usually don't directly artect graduates. However, when undergrads and don't origi- we asked a dozen of our nate with him; most admin- writers at a staff meeting istrative decisions instead to write an editorial about seem to come from other his Presidency, all of them faculty in Student Affairs. said they didn't personally The only recent items which know enough information. immediately spring to minc We then asked our spam list are his generous offer to per- of about 25 writers. Again, sonally repay Fleming for none felt they really knew cannon retrieval factual information about expenses and changes in the student Baltimore's Presidency. health insurance policy. Finally I asked many of I will continue this edito- Maximum Pay News $25 Features $20 Sports $20 Commentary $20 Humour $20 Good Comics $15 Comics $7 Photos $5 The California Tech Caltech 40-58, Pasadena, CA 91125 advertising desk: (626) 395-6154 cunonal e-mai. rechucunech.cun VOLUME CVII, NUMBER 29 wavid net Luis 1 Jonathan Malmaud Business Manager Jonathan Senn Chandra Barnett EICBECLUT Gary Libman President Baltimore my friends who are gradu- ating seniors, most of them having previously com- plained about Baltimore on numerous occasions. Much to my surprise, they too all felt too uninformed to write the article. It seems that the under- graduate body's grievances against major Balti- more must have occurred at President Chameau rial next week after I actually do more research on the subject. Please email me any of Baltimore's policy decisions which I have neglected to mention; l'm sure that there are many of them Anyone who wishes to write an editorial is welcome to e-mail us at tech@caltech. edu. The Tech is published weekly except durin: vacation and examination periods by the A sociated students of the california instit of Technology, Inc The opinions expressed nerein are strictly nose of the autors an advertiser Leners and suombstons are welcome, eili subissions olecmecanech.can as prat-tea including week before publication accept any reason. Al ty of its auth. cally do as cale and arrangemer All advertising in to the business man ager at business@caltech edu. For subscription information, please send mail to "Subscriptions.' THE CALIFORNIA TECH COMMENTARY Feynman on Ethics in Science In celebration of a new Caltech interesting to look at the history scientist, but just trying to be era to be ushered in by President of measurements of the charge an ordinary human being. We'll Chameau, we republish an ex-of an electron, after Millikan. If leave those problems up to you cerpt from Richard Feynman's you plot them as a function of and your rabbi. I'm talking about popular 1974 Caltech commence- time, you find that one is a little a specific, extra type of integrity ment address in which he discuss- bit bigger than Millikan's, and the that is not lying, but bending over es timeless issues in scientific eth- next one's a little bit bigger than backwards to show how you're ics through his trademark quiry that, and the next one's a little bit maybe wrong, that you ought to stories. bigger than that, until finally they have when acting as a scientist. settle down to a number which is And this is our responsibility as higher. scientists, certainly to other scien- BY: DR. FEYNMAN Why didn't they discover the tists, and I think to laymen. new number was higher right ...in summary, the idea is to away? It's a thing that scientists For example, I was a little surprised when I was talking to a give all of the information to are ashamed of--this history--be- friend who was going to go on the help others to judge the value of cause it's apparent that people did radio. He does work on cosmol- your contribution; not just the things like this: When they got a ogy and astronomy, and he won- 110012l0 a 1od0n 1 1u02 number that was too high above dered how he would explain what ment in one particular direction Millikan's, they thought some- the applications of his work were. ol allotuer.. thing must be wrong--and they "Well," I said, "there aren't any." Last night I heard that Wes-would look for and find a reason He said, "Yes, but then we won't son oil doesn't soak through why something might be wrong. get support for more research of food. Well, that's true. It's not When they got a number close to this kind." I think that's kind of dishonest; but the thing I'm Millikan's value they didn't look dishonest. If you're representing talking about is not just a mat-so hard. And so they eliminated yourself as a scientist, then you ter of not being dishonest; it's the numbers that were too far should explain to the layman what a matter of scientific integrity, off, and did other things like that. you're doing-- and if they don't which is another level. The fact We've learned those tricks nowa- support you under those circum- that should be added to that ad-days, and now we don't have that stances, then that's their decision. vertising statement is that no kind of a disease. One example of the principle oils soak through food, if operated at a certain temperature. If "Why didn't they discover the new number lof operated at another temperature, charge on an electron/ was higher right away. they all will--including Wesson It's a thing that scientists are ashamed of--this oil. So it's the implication which history--because it's apparent that people did has been conveyed, not the fact, things like this: When they got a number that was which is true, and the difference oo high above Millikan's, they thought somethin is what we have to deal with. We've learned from experi- nust be wrong--and they would look for and finc ence that the truth will come a reason why something might be wrong. out. Other experimenters will repeat your experiment and find out whether you were wrong or right. Nature's phenomena will agree or they'll disagree with your theory. And, although you may gain some temporary fame and excitement. you will not gain a good reputation as a scientist if you haven't tried to be very careful in this kind of work. And it's this type of integrity, this kind of care not to fool yourself, that is missing to a large extent in much of the research in cargo cult science... We have learned a lot from experience about how to handle some of the ways we fool our-selves. One example: Millikan measured the charge girl electron by an experiment with falling oil drops, and got an answer which we now know not to be quite right. It's a little bit off because he had the incorrect value for the viscosity of air. It's But this long history of learning how to not fool ourselves--of having utter scientific integrity--is, I'm sorry to say, something that we haven't specifically included in any particular course that I know of. We just hope you've caught on by osmosis The first principle is that you must not fool yourself--and you are the easiest person to fool. So you have to be very careful about that. After you've not fooled your-self, it's easy not to fool other sci-entists. You just have to be honest in a conventional way after that. I would like to add something that's not essential to the science, but something I kind of believe, which is that you should not fool the layman when you're talking as a scientist. I am not trying to tell you what to do about cheating on your wife, or fooling your girlfriend, or something like that, when you're not trying to be a is this: If you've made up your mind to test a theory, or you want to explain some idea, you should always decide to publish it whichever way it comes out. If we only publish results of a certain kind, we can make the argument look good. We must publish BOTH kinds of results. I explained to her that it was necessary first to repeat in her laboratory the experiment of the other person--to do it under condition X to see if she could also get result A, and then change to Y and see if A changed. Then she would know the the real difference was the thing she thought she had under control. She was very delighted with this new idea, and went to her professor. And his reply was, no, you cannot do that, because the experiment has already been done and you would be wasting time. This was in about 1947 or so, and it seems to have been the general SAT Instructors Wanted. $30/hr PT. Requires 99th ministered SAT Percentile on College Board ad- Call 800-696-5728 x180. E-mail jobs@testmasters.net. More info at: www.testmasterssat.com. Gourme N Red Brick Pizza Fire-Roasted Gourmet Pizza GMAT and GRE Instructors Wanted. $40/hr PT. No teaching experience required. Requires 99th percentile on College Board administered test: GMAT-750 or higher, GRE Math-800, GRE Verbal-740 or higher. E-mail resume, cover letter, and official score report to jobs@testmasters.net. Confidential Egg Donors Needed Immediately! compensation $8,000 $10,000 Exceptional Women Needed for Egg Donation (Ages 16-26) O FUTURES 866.952.3888 www.FertilityFutures.com MAY 30, 2006 7 CALTECHI Richard Feynman gives his 1978 Caltech commencement ad-dress. policy then to not try to repeat psychological experiments, but only to change the conditions and see what happened. Nowadays, there's a certain danger of the same thing happen-ing, even in the famous field of physics. I was shocked to hear of an experiment being done at the big accelerator at the National Accelerator Laboratory, where a person used deuterium. In order to compare his heavy hydrogen results to what might happen with light hydrogen, he had to use data from someone else's experiment on light hydrogen, which was done on different apparatus. When asked why, he said it was because he couldn't get time on the program (because there's so little time and it's such expensive apparatus) to do the experiment with light hydrogen on this apparatus because there wouldn't be any new result. And so the men in charge of programs at NAL are so anxious for new results, in order to get more money to keep the thing going for public relations purposes, they are destroying--possibly--the value of the experiments themselves, which is the whole purpose of the thing. It is often hard for the experimenters there to complete their work as their scientific integrity demands. All experiments in psychol- ogy are not of this type, however. For example, there have been many experiments running rats through all kinds of mazes, and so on--with little clear result. But in 1937 a man named Young did a very interesting one. He had a long corridor with doors all along one side where the rats came in, and doors along the other side where the food was. He wanted to see if he could train the rats to go in at the third door down from wherever he started them off. No. The rats went immediately to the door where the food had been the time before. The question was, how did the rats know, because the corridor was so beautifully built and so uniform, that this was the same door as before? Obviously there was something about the door that was different from the other doors. So he painted the doors very carefully, arranging the textures on the faces of the doors exactly the same. Still the rats could tell. Then he thought maybe the rats were smelling the food, so he used chemicals to change the smell after each run. Still the rats could tell. Then he realized the rats might be able to tell by seeing the lights and the arrangement in the laboratory like any common-sense person. So he covered the corridor, and still the rats could tell. He finally found that they could tell by the way the floor sounded when they ran over it. And he could only fix that by putting his corridor in sand. So he covered one after another of all possible clues and finally was able to fool the rats so that they had to learn to go in the third door. If he relaxed any of his conditions, the rats could tell. Now, from a scientific stand-point, that is an A-number-one experiment. That is the experiment that makes rat-running experiments sensible, because it uncovers that clues that the rat is really using- not what you think it's using. And that is the experiment that tells exactly what conditions you have to use in order to be careful and control everything in an experiment with rat-run-ning. I looked up the subsequent history of this research. The next experiment, and the one after that, never referred to Mr. Young. They never used any of his criteria of putting the corridor on sand, or being very careful. They just went right on running the rats in the same old way, and paid no attention to the great discoveries of Mr. Young, and his papers are not referred to, because he didn't discover anything about the rats. In fact, he discovered all the things you have to do to discover something about rats. But not paying attention to experiments like that is a characteristic example of cargo cult science... Only ten days left! How will term? Fortune favors the bold. SAT Tutors Needed In Home Private Tutoring Evening /Wookend Hours www.Kagkesk.com/prem.e Tired of CDS lunches and dinners? $2.00 Burger, Fries, and Drink EVERYDAY for all Caltech students, staff, and faculty Burger Continental 35 S. Lake AVE asaden: (620) 792-6634 Always 20% off for all Caltech students, staff, faculty 8 THE CALIFORNIA TECH HUMOUR MAY 30, 2006 Captain Relativity by Racked Reddick IInspired by Austin Webb] Before the cosmos Lost its constant... Captain Relativity! ★ Before probed the atom... Before he was promoted to general.. There was... The Aristocrat MacGyver, we don't have long. If you don't diffuse the bomb now, this place is gonna BLOW! What are you gonna do with a BANANA?! DARNOLD & YHAT An Inside Look at How the New President was Selected BY: TONY FALK If you've read other stories in this very newspaper, it is likely you are aware that Caltech has chosen a new President. Like the one in charge of the U.S., this one was not voted for by the majority of the people he will rule overl but claims he will act on behalf of everyone. He also may claim that God chose him to be President, although there is no evidence he has ever made such a statement, except that any person with great responsibility should logically claim to have been endorsed by an all-powerful creator, as this adds considerably to their authority and credibility. but as much as the new Prest-dent of Caltech resembles George W. Bush, in many ways he is dif-terent. For one thing, one is from Texas, and the other France (al-though I don't believe either is "technically" part of the United States, so they have that in com-mon), and those two nation-states have been on the brink of war ever since l imagined them to both be nations. Another difference is that I've heard one rumored to be less intelligent than average ape-man while sources have suggested the other is some sort of super-intel-ligent black and white whale2. The point is, the new President has a name that is easily made into a bad pun. All this talk of new Presidents got thinking about how I would go about picking a new leader, which got me to assuming this was how the real committee did it, so I'll present this as if it were well-researched fact. The first thing the committee had to do was select its own members. Obviously would include the division chairs3 and other prominent administrators, but what most people don't know is that undergrads and grad students had some say into the decision as well, although not in the traditional way. Instead of wasting the valuable time of students, the Caltech Professor of Religious/Student Symbology made anagrams out of the upper case letters in the ASCIT and GSC minutes, and used these to discover the preferences of the Caltech undergrad and graduate populations. Those located near to Caltech were also included in the search by having a skilled group of kidnappers abduct someone from a local home and drag them into each meeting, returning them only after drugging them in such a way as to make them forget what had occurred4. The final member of the committee placed in charge of finding us a new President was obviously a super-computer so powerful it could accurately predict the fu-ture, and thus already knew who would be chosen, which greatly simplified the procedure of choosing the President. Unfortunately the collputC predicted that it would predict that it would predict that it would predict that... (It just kept doing that repeatedly until someone unplugged it). So the committee had to replace the computer with a magic eight ball, which predicted that they would choose "Concen-trate and Ask Again." The committee decided to go in a different direction for their final decision, and so interviewed a number of people. The first person brought in for an interview was David Baltimore, who pointed out that he already had the job, and no longer wanted it Next they brought in Mr. T, who they found hiding in the Los Angeles underground after escaping from a military prison where he had been placed for a crime he didn't commit. The main qualifications Mr. T "All this talk of new Presidents got me thinking about how I would go about picking a new leader... Dean of Students at the University of Chicago. Other possibilities considered were former Harvard University President Lawrence Summers, the brainy Krang of Ninja Turtle fame, and John Ker-ry. shouldn't be considered for the job of replacing himself, the committee met and after several hours of intense debate decided to hire Dr. Chameau, who accepted, on the condition that no one make any more whale jokes had (besides having beaten Rocky at one point) were his immense wealth (represented by hundreds of pounds of gold chains, thought be worth approximately the same amount as David Balti- more's sacks of cash) and his firm yet compassionate treatment of those not academically qualified for Caltech, since it is well known that he pities fools. Unfortunately for Caltech, Mr. T turned down their offer, instead accepting an offer to become the The California Tech Caltech 40-58 Pasadena, CA 91125 They were rejected due to cer- that may have offended women, being a supervillain intent on conquering the earth, and flip-flopping on issues, respectively. After trying Baltimore again and receiving another polite explanation that he was the one being replaced, the committee was down to two final candidates. One was Dr. Chameau of Georgia Tech, and the other Mr. Willy of ITT Tech After an interview revealed that Mr. "Free" Willy was not in fact a real person, but rather a lame attempt by a Tech columnist to make another killer whale joke, the decision by the committee was an easy one, and they con- tacted David Baltimore with the job offer that very day. After another explanation by Baltimore that he was the outgoing President, and therefore 1 After hours of extensive re-search, I've discovered that people don't vote for the President of universities at all. I must have been thinking of American Idol. These sources being my imaginary friends, two rats named Hippo and Rhino. And to be politically balanced, they told me John Kerry was a reverse-centaur whose intelligence was known to flip-flop. 3 I'm leaving the chairs and tables" of "division • "and also the people who sit in the division chairs" puns out, due to the strong correlation between including bad puns in my column and death threats I receive. 4 The drug of choice for this operation was a large bottle of cheap vodka and a well placed blow with a sock full of quarters.