California Tech, v. 98:22, April 4, 1997

see page 7 Ryan's lonely. Read the mints. see page 8 hility is not a good survivial trait THE CALIFORNIA TECH VOLUME XCVIII, NUMBER 22 PASADENA, CALIFORNIA FRIDAY, APRIL 4, 1997 Students, faculty to discuss CIT BY KOHL GILL what the issues are? Well, then come on out anyway on Tuesday, 15 April The Ides of April are almost upon and listen to the presentations of the us - that means Tax Day, but more im- committees first, chaired by Ellis Meng portantly, the Student/Faculty Confer- (fandchuin@cco), Geoff Smith ence. Yes, right after the ASCIT Bud-(gsmith@londo), and Seth Blumberg get Meeting (see ASCIT Announce- (blumberg@cco), respectively. What's ments, lower right) and right before that? You have class on the 15th? Prefrosh Weekend, ASCIT (with great Well, watch for a scheduling change in help from Student Affairs) will attempt your courses, to facilitate your atten- the amazing: inviting all members of dance. the Caltech Community to join in dis- The only way this conference can cussion of the issues. Do you have a be successful is with your help. Con- suggestion, a gripe, or a new idea about tact the chairs of the committees with student life, the honor system, or the your suggestions. I challenge every philosophy of undergrads at CIT? ASCIT member to attend and make a Then come address the Student Life, serious contribution to this effort to Honor System, and Undergraduate Pur- better our school. The discussions pose Committees, presented to you for promise to be quite interesting. Please just that reason! watch for further announcements in the What do you say? You don't know Tech and elsewhere. Dr. Ho to speak at commencement Dr. David Ho has agreed to speak at this year's com-mencement. Dr. Ho, biology alum '74, has shot to the front of AIDS research by innovatingly combining treatment of RT, protease, and integrase inhibitors at the start of HIV infection, which in most patients lowers the level of virus to near nonexistance, and hopefully eliminates infection within months. Eleven years of Mozart Concerts ASCIT Announcements All clubs seeking ASCIT funding should pick up a Budget Proposal form from the SAC Copier Room. The completed budget proposals should be turned in by noon, April 11th. Due to unforseeable circumstances, Kara Swedlow, the ASCIT Secretary, is taking a voluntary leave and has given her resignation. Therefore, as per the ASCIT Bylaws, the ASCIT Executive Committee will appoint an interim secre-tary, and a new election will be held as soon as possible for a permanent secretary. Please watch for flyers and announcements if you are interested in this position, or email me at kohl@cco. Also, sign-ups will be going up outside of Winnett shortly for ASCIT appointed offices. Here they are: Executive Committee Chairman ASCIT Movies Chairman little t Editors and Business Manager Big T Editors Big T Business Manager Totem Editors California Tech Business Manager Check pages 85 and 86 of your 96-97 Dear little t for more information (or e-mail kohl @cco). Sign up early, sign up of-ten! The trumpets of heaven ready to burst forth paradise's sweetest melody. BY MYFANWY CALLAHAN the last four years, William rected by Delores Bing, Bing has played in the trum- will play the Quintet K.617 The time has arrived once again for Caltech's annual All Mozart Con-cert. For the eleventh year, Caltech singers and instrumentalists will join to perform some of Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart's most memorable works. William Bing, the director of the Caltech Jazz Band and Concert Band, will perform the Trumpet Concerto in E-flat by Johann Nepomuk Hummel, a pupil of Mozart's. Four pet section of the Los Ange-for flute, oboe, viola, cello, les Chamber Orchestra and and piano. Delores Bing the Los Angeles Opera Or- has worked with over 500 chestra. small groups of students in The Caltech Chamber the Chamber Music Pro- Singers will sing Regina gram and won the ASCIT Coeli, Ave Verum Corpus, teaching award with her and the Coronation Mass, ac- husband William Bing for companied by a small orches- their skilled work in the tra. The Chamber Singers is Caltech Music Program. a small group of only 12 The concert promises graduate and undergraduate to be very enjoyable. students, but their perfor- Come and listen for free at mance rivals that of a much Dabney Hall tomorrow larger choir. (Saturday) at 8 p.m. or Sun- Finally, members of the day at 3 p.m. Space is lim- Chamber Music Program, di- ited, so please arrive early. IN THIS ISSUE THE USUAL THIS WEEK'S STUFF FEATURES Outside Worlds. Editors' Box. DILBERT®.. Pahoehoe.. Dean's Corner... Media Guy. Announcements 2 April 4, 1997 EDITORS' BOX Hi, We're the Tech Editors and this is our box. • Free food and 3 units of credit can be yours! You may even see your name in print! Just show up at the Tech meeting noon today in the Coffeehouse or find a Tech editor before Add Day. We'll provide the add cards and signatures. • If you don't think you can handle the screaming hordes of fans that come with being a Tech writer, you can still contribute to the Tech on occasion. Send your efforts to: editors@tech.caltech.edu. Whether you're an undergraduate, graduate, faculty member, postdoc, off-campus critter, par-ent, or the guy scraping old Techs off the Olive Walk, we want you to write for us. You will be assimilated. • To the people who said the April Fool's cult article was in bad taste: You don't know what bad taste is. Give us a couple of weeks .... • The Tech Editors are deeply indebted to all the people who made the April 1st issue possible. A special thanks goes out to Caltech Security for helping us hand-deliver that issue to campus on April Fool's Day. In addition, we would like to thank those who contributed to that issue: Ron Dollete, Andrew Childs, Daisy James, Dean Revel, Terry Moran, Samson Timoner, Myfanwy Callahan, the Hell Frosh, Wren Montgom-ery, the Athenaeum Sock Hop announcement, and this week's TFM Chandler Dining Hall menu. • While previous Tech editors may have been intimidating, the current team is scrawny and relatively nonviolent. If you have a problem with something in the Tech, please talk to us directly instead of pestering the administration. They're not responsible for us and don't need the abuse. Our e-mail address remains editors@tech.caltech.edu. Kind comments are also appreciated. Ryan Cox Autumn Looijen Erik Streed Erik etteed 3 units of credit and free food! Come to the Tech meeting noon today in the Coffeehouse. Tech Deadlines Advertising Letters to the Editor Inside Worlds Unsolicited Articles Assigned Articles (except news) Events & Notices 5 p.m. Monday 5 p.m. Monday midnight Monday 1:07 p.m. Tuesday 5:23 p.m. Tuesday 5 p.m. Tuesday 1CREN PARIAN TRAVEL Caltech Officially Approved Most professional, courteous, economical and efricient service for your official and personal travel needs. Free service to you. We deliver. Airlines, Cruises, Tours, Hotels, Car Rentals. Individual, Commercial, Groups. (818) 577-8200 468S Sierra Madre Blvd • Pasadena LAEMMLE THEATRES ESQUIRE 2670 E. Colorado Blvd. (818) 793-6149 COLORADO 2588 E. Colorado Blvd. (818) 796-9704 2 Academy Nominations Sling Blade KAMA SUTRA Daily 5:00, 8:00 p.m. Sat-Sun Bargain Matinee- 2:00 p.m. Daily 4:30, 7:10, 9:45 p.m. Sat-Sun Bargain Matinee 1:30 p.m. OPINIONS THE CALIFORNIA TECH Dodgers fans of Caltech, unite! Lasorda would make an excellent Commencement speaker BY MASON A. PORTER fear concerning graduation comments that I discussed above, I mencement is that when my am sure, moreover, that many Sheets on which Juniors can suggest graduation speakers are now up in each of the undergraduate houses. There are a multitude of seemingly qualified candidates, but one's accomplishments should not be enough to justify one's selection as a commencement speaker. Indeed, the ability to speak well and entertain one's audience is perhaps equally important. With this in mind, my choice as an ideal graduation speaker would be new baseball Hall of Famer Tommy Lasorda. Lasorda's selection to baseball's Hall of Fame is merely the crown on a career of stellar accomplishments. In addition to his excellent work on the baseball diamond, he has served as an ambassador for the game for over twenty years. He has preached about baseball as an elixir to hardship in countless communities in countless na-tions. During this time, he has made thousands of speeches across the world. Further, Lasorda's presence at charity events is well-known. Lasorda has a very dynamic personality, and his speeches reflect that. Every commencement speech I have experienced (about one dozen or so) has been trite and boring. It seems to me graduation speeches inevitably display mostly the same senti-ments. The difference therefore lies in the specific content and style. Former Dodger manager Tommy Lasorda would breathe life into a speech that is doomed to be hackneyed. My greatest name is called, I will not be able entertainers have made com- to walk up to the podium be-mencement speeches in the past. cause I will have fallen asleep Others may suggest that in the grandstands. Lasorda's Tommy Lasorda's accomplish- enthusiasm, however, would ments are not sufficiently note- surely entertain both the gradu- worthy to merit giving Caltech's commencement address. However, on the basis of the Former Dodger manager Tommy Lasorda would breathe life into a speech that is doomed to be hackneyed. messages Lasorda received last year from the past four United States presidents and countless other distinguished people upon his retirement as manager of the Los Angeles Dodgers, many important persons would find fault with such a statement. A friend of mine who graduated from Caltech last year suggested that Caltech's administration ating students and the audience! One must not forget that the purpose of commencement is for our friends and families to witness the culmination of our educational path. Its theme song, "Pomp and Circumstance," is an accurate reflection of its exist-ence. Commencement means nothing beyond what its audience and participants feel about it. The testament to one's hard work in earning one's degree lies not in a pretentious ceremony but in what one has learned and accomplished. Given that, one should strive to make such ceremonies as entertaining as pos-sible. Some people may suggest that it is inappropriate to have an entertainer give the commencement address. I disagree with this both because many entertainers have accomplished a great deal and because of the intended purpose of commence- would never allow somebody such as Lasorda to be the commencement speaker. I of course do not possess the knowledge to refute that, but I unequivocally hope that that is not the case. Caltech has so far managed not to embitter me (as it has numerous other students), but a travesty such as that would go a long way in doing so. My challenge to the student body is to give the administration a chance to prove their commitment to us. Request Tommy Lasorda as the commencement speaker for the Class of 1998! THE CALIFORNA TECH Caltech 40-58, Pasadena, CA 91125 phone: 010390-6155 advertisino: 018 345-0194 ISoN 0000-1504 VOLUME XCVIII, NUMBER 22 APRIL 4, 1997 den Mandarin & Szechwan Cuisine-Best in Town! Party Tray to Go - $5.00 per person (Min. 25 People) Orange Chicken Vegetable Noodles Pork Fried Rice Kung Pao Beef Great for meetings, partles, etc. 5% discount with Caltech ID CATERING & FOOD TO GO Lunch Special Beer•Wine•Banquets Monday Sunday 11:30-3:00 pm (818) 796-2531 187 N. Sierra Madre Blvd. Pasadena, CA 91107 EDITORS Ryan Cox Autumn Loonjen Erik Streed COORDINaTING FOITOR Wren Montgomery Copy Entrops Jacques Frechet NEWS EDITOR Erik Strod OPINIONS EDITOR John Hatfield PEAUTRES EDITOF Kanwar Kahlon PASTE-UE Terry Moran DARKROOM MOLE WREN MONTGOMERY BUsINFes MaNaGEr Heidi Eldenburg ASST. BUSINESS MANA Kai Zhu SaappINDrmER： Myfanwy Cal khan Mason Porter Neil Stevens Samson Timoner FEATURE WRITER Ron Dollete Chris Brooks Andrew Childs BENTS * NOTICES Bradey Honsinger Bargain Finder Travel A special service being offered to the Students uf CALIFORNIA INSTITUTE of TECHNOLOGY World Travel Group, Inc. 119 W. California Blvd. Pasadena, CA 91105 (818) 796-4448 Callers must identily themsclucs and request the "Bargain Finder Desk" Published weekly except during vacation and examination periods by the Assuciated Students of the California Institute of Technology, Inc. The opinions expressed herein are strictly thuse of the authors. Letters and announcements are welcome. All contributions should include the author's name and phone number and the intended date of nudie tion. Sumit copy (preferahly on Macintush 3.5* e-mail to editors @tech.caltech.edu. The editors ne-serve the right to edit and abridge all submission for literacy, expediency, ete. All articles are the property of the authors. Authors and columnists retair all intellectual property rights. Anicles received in BINhEX Tormat will not be accepted Annual subscrintons to The Califorma lech to domestic delivery are $28 for First Class Mail, $12 Printed by News-Type Service, Glendale. THE CALIFORNIA TECH NEWS Pahoehoe Diary: Six days in one page! BY JOE TRELA DAY 4 - SUNDAY, MARCH 17TH ¡Mundo Fuego, No Es Bueno! Day Four began with greetings from the denizens of Camp Kilauea, who were practicing - wait a second. You mean you didnt know there was a Camp Kilauea? Well, it's every Hawaiian kid's dream for their parents to pay $140.95 to send them there for the summer so they could learn how to placate Pele, bodysurf down basalt cliffs and run away screaming from silicic lava flows as the slower "So where the heck are those darn birds?" Laura asked angrily. camp counselors are immolated in their beds! But seriously, it's a training base used by the National Guard and the U.S. Army Special Forces to practice for the day we have to retake Iwo Jima or some other volcanic island from Saddam Hussein. Any- way, while we were kicking out the jams for the day's coming exertions, we noticed several people in camoflouge jumping around amidst the low ridge not ten feet from our cabins. quickly ran through the various goals of known active militia groups in my mind and came to the conclusion that while NSF money might not put us in league with the Trilateral Com-mission, we still stood a chance of being mistaken for either a) ATF agents or b) the New World Order and hence would be prime targets for the G. Gordon Liddy Maneuver. "We never should have rented those black helicopters back at Hilo," I muttered grimly to Lazlo as I got ready to bring my Swiss army knife to bear at the first sign of gunfire. But, as it turned out, they were all with the National Guard or some such organization and were on maneuvers. Everything was okay! parently before the invention of wood. Its latest incarnation, built in 1920, featured what was claimed to be the longest continually burning fireplace in the world, and sure enough, the fireplace and half the lounge were on fire when we got there, with waiters and cashiers desperately trying to put it out with complimentary pitchers of orange juice. I wondered why they bothered fighting the forces of history. By the time we fought through the flames and were seated next to the big picture window, we found that it was actually worth it, with a great view of the fog between us and Halemaumau Crater. Spam® figured prominently in the brunch buffet, but then it's apparently quite popular across the islands and after several days of Vienna sausage and Ritz crackers I gleefully savored the subtle differences in flavor, color and sodium content between the two potted meat products. DAY 7 - WEDNESDAY, MARCH 20 In All Regards, An Unappealing Day Basalt "tongue" cave, Sick Cats, South Point & windmills, up Kona coast, olivine roadside wall, "Bad Ass Coffee Company," ugly rock graffitti, swimming, spent night at State Beach cabins DAY 8 - THURSDAY, MARCH 21 Hope Your Brakes Work, You Poor, Dumb Bastard! Swimming, Dunite lava tube & such, Keck Building, cool wet cave, tourist trap, big hills + much rain. Pu'kiawe!!! Spent night at "Oregon Coast." And we got to see the Keck building, where the only graduate students there were working with the Keck telescope(s) way up on Mauna Kea (that's the pointy one, remember). We didn't actually get to go inside, but I was too busy being happy about finding an ATM to care. DAY 9 - FRIDAY, MARCH 22 From The Clutches of One Goddess Into Another Shopping at Hilo Hattie's, flight back to LAX Four cans of coconut-macad-amia brittle, a volcanic-soil refrigerator magnet, a Pele book and T-shirt and some govern-ment-inspected sugar cane. AFTERMATH It is now eleven months since the group returned from Hawaii. Since then, all of the undergraduates but myself have been killed Pu'u O'o - not for me, Hawaii Militia, Up Mauna Loa Road, bird sanctuary, view of Ka'u Desert through nene coun-try. Spent night at VNP DAY 5 - MONDAY, MARCH 18TH IsAnyone Else's Throat Burning? Mauna Ulu active crater, Devil's Hole, covered freeway from 1983 eruption, nearly gassed off coast, samples of Pele's tears and reticulite (more lava tubes). Robbery! it turns out that Hawaiian Air lost $40 million dollars last year. Does this mean we have to swim home? Spent Night at VNP Idly, I wondered how fast I could run downhill anaerobically. DAY 6 - TUESDAY, MARCH 19TH Sugarcane Weasels Ripped My Flesh Volcano House breakfast, more lava trees (pushing through the underbrush), Ka'u Desert & footprints, spent night Whittington Point (black sand), didnt see turtle. Saw Alpha C? At last, breakfast at the famed Volcano House. The original House was a shack made out of palm fronds for visitors (missionaries, gawkers and the like) back in the 1840's, ap- April 4, 1997 3 The Outside World by Myfanwy Callahan PHNOM PENH, CAMBODIA - tween it and Poland, a candidate Hand grenades thrown into the for NATO expansion. midst of a large political rally killed at least 16 people and wounded 120. The two co-Prime Ministers agreed to attempt to calm the populace although the two of them are barely on speaking terms. JERUSALEM, ISRAEL - A firebomb in West Bank killed 13 Israeli soldiers on Wednes-day. This followed shortly after two explosions in Gaza and the fatal shooting of two Palestinians. The new violence caused Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu to schedule a crisis meeting with President Clinton. King Hussein of Jordan called for "a more active U.S. role." KINSHASA, ZAIRE - Parliament recently elected Etienne Tshisekedi, an enemy of the country's dictator, to the office of Prime Minister. Mobutu Sese Seko is expected to approve the appointment despite his personal qualms because his power is undermined by military uprising and the rebels are gaining ground. BOSTON, MA - A state of emergency was still in effect Thursday after 24 inches of snow fell in Boston. At that time 200,000 people still had no electricity in Massachusetts. Moscow, RUSSIA - President Boris Yelstin signed a pact with Belarus on Wednesday to form a new economic and political union of the states. Russia thus gains a buffer be- WASHINTON, D.C. - A new federal law that will reduce immigration was put into effect Tuesday. The law re- stricts the number of immigrants and makes it easier for the Government to deport illegal immigrants. by freak lava surges, localized py-roclastic flows, suborbital basalt bombs and at least one meteorite which, while identified as originally coming from Mars, was definitely made of magmatic rock. As I write this, the lava dome that has formed on Mount Wilson is growing at a rate of 2 centimeters per day, while micro-quake frequency is up by almost 2000%. The entire San Andreas Fault also seems to be changing its geometry from long strike-slip segments to Gulf of California-type active rift zones. The only chance of survival for myself and southern California is for me to leave quickly and move to a cra-ton without any nearby mantle-derived hot spots; hence I am accepting a position as assistant technical writer for the Department of Creation Science at Oral Roberts University, Tulsa, OK. May Pele have mercy on my soul. HOW ABOUT DINNER WITH THE MOSH? Now is your time to come to dinner with other students, faculty and staff at Steele House. If you would like to sign up please see Sue Chiarchiaro in the Residence Life office. 4 April 4, 1997 PROFITS ARE DOWN. MORALE IS LOW. WHAT IS THE ROOT PROBLEM? IM BANNING THE POSTING OF ANTI-MANAGEMENT CARTOONS IN THE OFFICE. THEY HURT MORALE. WALLY, I FORGOT TO TELL YOU THAT ALL OF THE PROJECT REQUIREMENTS CHANGED. HEY, DILBERT! YOU'LL NEVER BE HUNGRY AS LONG AS YOU'RE WORKIN' IN THIS STRIP... DILBERT by Scott Adams THIS ONt HAS OUF, MISSION SIRILMENT IN ORDER TO REDUCE EXPENSES, ONLY THE EMPLOYEES IN ESSENTIAL JOBS MAY HAVE BUSINESS CARDS. THE CALIFORNIA TECH CAROL, ORDER SOME NEW BUSINESS CARDS FOR ME. OOH. NO CAN DO. BUT YOU CAN BORROW SOME IT'S GOT TO BE THOSE ANTI-MANAGEMENT CARTOONS THE EMPLOYEES HANG ON THEIR CUBICLE WALLO! TOU KE BANNING номок 10 IS THERE SOMETHING WRONG WITH THAT MORALE? AND THEY AREN'T EVEN FUNNY. IT'S THE OF TODAY'S CARTOON. I'D BETTER ORDER SOME BUSINESS 7 CARDS TO FIND OUT IF I'M "ESSENTIAL" I HATE TO INTERRUPT YOUR LOUD CONVERSATION OUTSIDE MY CUBICLE... AND YOU SEE HOW IT'S NOT FUNNY? BUT IF YOU DON'T GO AWAY, I'LL POUND YOUR INCONSIDERATE HEAD SO FAR INTO YOUR TORSO THAT YOU HAVE TO DROP YOUR PANTS TO SAY HELLO. DID YOU 3OST ALAK A STRANGE IT SOUNDED LIKE MELP!" WHAT?!! ALL MY WORK WAS FOR NOTHING?!! W/ HE ACTUALLY BELIEVES YOU DID I THINK I'LL GET SOME HOMEMADE COOKIES OUT OF THIS! I'M SENDING YOU TO A TRAINING COURSE THAT RUNS AT NIGHT SO YOU WONT MISS ANY WORK. IT MIGHT SEEM LIKE AN IMMORAL ABUSE OF MY POWER, BUT I LIKE TO CALL IT "A MUTUAL INVESTMENT IN YOUR CAREER." CONTROL.. FIST. DEATH. AND THEY MAVL VENDING MACHINES IF YOU GET .CAUSE YOU'RE SURE OF THREE SQUARES EVERY DAY! SOME OF US HAFTA KEEP GOIN' AROUND IN CIRCLES! COMPANY TRAINING LET'S GO AROUND THE ROOM AND WE'LL EACH SAY WHAT WE HOPE TO LEARN. I HOPE TO LEARN WHETHER THAT THING ON YOUR HEAD IS A BAD 0UPEE） A DEAD ANIMAL, OR A HIDEOUS FREAK OF NATURE -SECURITY? GRADUATE SCHOOL WEEK APRIL 7 - 11 , 1997 Take a Closer Look at Graduate School during Graduate School Week Monday, April 7 Tuesday, April 8 Wednesday. April 9 Thursday, April 10 Friday, April Il Applying to Graduate School Workshop 7:30 - 9:00 PM, SAC Room 13 The CDC will host a panel of graduate students and graduating seniors who will share their experiences in choosing graduate programs, filling out applications, getting good letters of recommendation, and writing an effective personal statement. Applying to Graduate School Workshop 7:30 - 9:00 PM, Winnett Club Room 1 The same information as in Monday night's workshop will be presented. Decisions about Graduate School 7:30 - 9:00 PM, Winnett Lounge A panel of Caltech alumni will discuss taking a break after your B.S., deciding which graduate school-small vs. large, should | get an MBA, and other questions you have. The Nuts and Bolts of Applying to Graduate School 7:30 - 9:00 PM, Beckman Institute Auditorium A panel of university representatives will discuss the application process and what they look for in personal statements, letters of recommendation, and test scores. Panelists include representatives from Stanford, Princeton, Caltech, and UC San Diego. Grad Fair 11 am - 2 PM, Winnett Student Center Representatives from premier graduate programs across the country will be on hand to answer your questions and distribute literature. Harvard • Stanford • I. of Uinois at Irbana-Champaign • U. of Dichigan • EGS • BESR • LCLA • LSC • Caltech • MIT • Princeton • UJass SPONSORED BY THE CDC, THE GRADUATE OFFICE, & THE ALUMNI ASSOCIATION CAN I CALL THAT "GENERAL"? THE CALIFORNIA TECH Women's Center Review Committee BY Liz HOLT the entire Caltech community, (wcr-comments@gps.caltech. As part of the establishment of the Caltech Women's Center in 1993, the Faculty Board provided for a periodic review of the Women's Center's accomplishments and benefits to the Caltech community. Accord- ingly, Provost Steve Koonin has gathered a group of men and women including undergradu-ates, graduate students, postdoctoral scholars, faculty, and staff to serve on the Women's Center Review Committee. This committee will report its findings to the Faculty Board no later than June 1997. In order to gather information for the review, the committee has set up a permanent e-mail address to solicit comments and opinions about the Caltech Women's Center from edu). We hope that community comments will address any relevant aspect of Women's Center performance, including which past activities have been most important to the various elements of the Institute community (students, faculty, and staff), ways in which service may be expanded, and ways in which Women's Center activities might better interact with other campus organizations, (i.e., Student Affairs, Human Resources, etc.). Those who wish to comment in person may contact one of the following committee members directly: Joann Stock (Chair), Joel Franklin, Elizabeth Holt, Rusty Lansford, David Levy, Maria Satterwhite, and Nai-Chang Yeh. FEATURES April 4, 1997 5 Love Letters was a joy to watch BY JOHN HATFIELD able to show us the life of his government as he continues to character in great detail. do what his father taught him On Saturday, March 8, Michael Learned also did a and help others; Gardner, on the Caltech Public Events presented fine job as Melissa Gardner, the other hand, with no steady pa- the delightful play Love Letters, impetuous and headstrong rental hand, goes through mar- by A. R. Gurney. Both poignant woman and girl who could never riages like fashions and contin- and humorous, this tale takes us quite face reality. When they ues to struggle with the tempta- on the life journey of two char- write letters to each other as tions of alcohol and drugs until acters, Andrew Makepeace small children, their interplay her life comes to its bitter end. Ladd III, and Melissa Gardner. shows both the good points and A. R. Gurney draws a beautiful Andrew, played with great bad points of growing up in the difference between the stable depth by Patrick Harrington, rich society of the 1930's and family life of Makepeace Ladd was near perfect throughout the *40s. From the over-the-top par- IlI and the results it brings and show, from a lovable and hard ties thrown for youngsters' the disastrous results of the un- working, if slightly pretentious birthdays, to the continual pres- stable and hideous early family boy, to the distinguished Sena- sure put on Makepeace Ladd by that Gardner endured. tor he becomes. Filling the char- his father, to the societal strains In sum, this is a wonderful acter with life and depth, the rise of divorce has caused on play about what growing up Harrington became the boy its children (showed with great means, how it affects us, and forced to write the thank-you aplomb by Melissa Gardner), what it means to have a friend note, the adolescent writing Love Letters shows this society to whom we really can tell all about college life, the family in all its grandeur, and all its our dark secrets. It treats both man telling of his own fortunes pettiness. As time goes on, so- the light and dark subjects well, and misfortunes in raising his ciety changes, and so do our and with dignity. If this is rep- children. Just by the simple act characters. Makepeace Ladd III resentative of theatrical produc- of reading his letters to his very is transformed by Yale, the tions that Caltech presents, then good friend, for Melissa is most Navy, an Oriental romance, law I must heartily recommend importantly that, Harrington is school, and finally joining the them. Rag Time on Green RESALE CLOTHING for WOMEN 1136 E. Green St. • Pasadena (818) 796-9924 Wed 10-6 • Mon-Tue-Thu-Fri 10-5 • Sat 10-3 ACADEMY BARBER SHOP 27 N. Catalina Ave., Pasadena Open Tues.-Sat., 7 A.M.-4 P.M. (818) 449-1681 301 what t2Lng IF IM NOT BACK IN 5 MINUTES, WAIT LONGER! ind out at council paris $449 tokyo 589 costa rica ...110 Fares are subject to change. Council Travel 10904 Lindbrook Driv Open Sat. 11am - 3pm, beginning 4/1. trave: real life flicks set a major Set a 303! get a degree You've got a long road ahead of you. 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Cyclo— This little-seen, unsettling view of the grimy underbelly of Hanoi couldn't Post-Oscar 1996 Movie Wrap-Up be farther in tone from Tran Anh Hung's genteel previous movie, The Scent of Green Papaya, but it's every bit as good. Images from this movie disturb me to this day. During last term this column was so packed with both the new 1997 films and the 2. Breaking the Waves— Lars von Trier's breathtaking, challenging study of faith, tail-enders from last year that I never got around to showing you my top ten list for love, devotion, and sacrifice featured the sensational debut of my choice for Best the year. Last week's Oscar ceremony pretty much sealed the door on the 1996 movie Actress, Emily Watson. season, so I figure I'd better show it to you now. I saw about 80 1996 releases, but was 1. Dead Man— Also unjustly overlooked, Jim Jarmusch's existential Western with able to be quite selective; there were only about 5 movies that I actively disliked. Johnny Depp was the most mesmerizing film of the year. Robby Müller's beautiful While I can of course make no claims on films I haven't seen, these are what I cinematography and Neil Young's haunting score complement this story of a dying consider to be the best of last year's crop: man on a journey of discovery. 10. Microcosmos— Hands-down, a simply amazing film. This French documentary So what did I think of the Oscars? I'm happy for Fargo's and Billy Bob Thornton's about the insects in one meadow brought us the closest look ever at the world beneath wins, though they wouldn't be my top choice in their respective categories. I'm also our feet. glad Lauren Bacall didn't get the sympathy award just for being old and beloved. 9. Chungking Express— Hong Kong's Wong Kar-Wai perfectly captured the feeling But what about The English Patient? I thought it was a good, albeit not great movie, of being alone amongst the millions in a big city. and can credit its Best Picture win to a legitimate difference in taste. But who can 8. Fargo— Wryly funny crime and mystery against the backdrop of majestic white truthfully tell me they thought The English Patient had the year's best Art Direction, landscapes and down-home Midwestern charm. Acting kudos all around, too. Costume Design, or Sound? In the year that saw an unprecedented number of inde- 7. The Frighteners— - Peter Jackson's unjustly overlooked followup to Heavenly Crea- pendent films nominated, the big winner was the independent film that seemed the tures was sheer entertainment, with a wildly original plot, great special effects, and in most like an old big-budget studio epic, and it swept away everything in its path. I'd Jeffrey Combs, the greatest insane FBI paranormal investigator ever to hit the screen. also like to state once more that the real best performance in Shine was that of Noah 6. Beavis and Butt-head Do America— B&B are much more honest champions of Taylor, but as always, the young actor gets screwed. EXCLUSIVELY FA CULTY and STAFF 통 1040 Department of the Treasury Anternal Rever U.S. Individual Income Tax For the year Jan. 1-Dec. 31, 1996, of Other 1 Your first name and initial Label See instructions on page 12) Use the IRS label. Otherwise please print or 0 a joint retun, seguse's first name an UNFORTUNATELY, THIS IS WHERE PEOPLE ARE PUTTING TOO MANY RETIREMENT DOLLARS. very year, a lot of people make a huge mistake on their taxes. They wind up sending Uncle Sam money they could be saving for retirement. Fortunately, that's a mistake you can avoid with SRAs-tax-deferred annuities from TIAA-CREE. SRAs not only ease your current tax bite, they offer an easy way to build retirement income —especially for the "extras" that your pension and Social Security benefits may not cover. Because your contributions are made in before-tax dollars, you pay less in taxes now. And since earnings on your SRAs are tax deferred, your money works even harder for you. What else do SRAs offer? The investment choice, flexibility, and expertise of TIAA-CREF- America's foremost retirement organization. Why write off the chance for a more rewarding retirement? Stop by your benefits office or call us at 1 800 842-2888 and find out how TIAA-CREF SRAs can help you enjoy many happy returns. Visit us on the Internet at www.tiaa-cref.org Ensuring the future for those who shape it. CREF certificates are distributed by TIAA-CREF Individual and Institutional Services, Ine. For more complete information, including charges and expenses call 1 800 842-2733, exter on sour lor a current uner prospectus. Nead the prospectus carerully delore you invest or send monev. Date of hrst use: 2IJ. CLASSIFIED ADS ENGINEERS ELECTRICAL/MECHANICAL ENGINEERS - Freelance technical writers proof-readers/translators. Fax rsme t 310-792-3642. Attn: Taka Doctoral Stu-dents. preferred Must have a modem SERVICES PREGNANT? - We are a professional, mar ried couple, a pilot and a nurse hoping to start a family through adoption. We have a lovely home and will teach good values and provide all emotional, physi-cal, spiritual and material wants in life to your healthy baby. We are willing to pay all medical expenses allowed by law. Please help us by calling tool free: 1-888-921-BABY. JOBS INTERNET INTERNSHIPS IN WASHING-TON - Association for Interactive Media 1s where companies like visney Dreamworks, CNET, MSNBC, Intel Infoseek, and more turn for interactive media advice. Marketing, journalism, web design, PR, research, sales positions! Devinitely the best internship you'll ever interns@interactivehq.org. 珊 瑚 Restaura * * Award Winner ** Mandarin Cuisine & Seafood Cocktail Lounge Lunch Specials $475 11:30-3 p.m. Early Bird Specials $650 3-7 p.m. Classic Dinners 3-10 p.m. Food To Go Welcome OPEN 7 DAYS Tel: 449-8018 2475 E. Colorado • Pasadena between Sierra Madre Blvd. & Altadena Dr. Free Parking in Rear THE CALIFORNIA TECH Here we are, the heat is on and more on the way, the new term has started, the last term of the '96-'97 Academic Year. as if you did not know it. Come on gals and guys, one ast pull. Oh I know, for many seniors it will be a term of farniente, a term of tomorrows Ditch Day is tomorrow). The seniors, having accumulated their 486 units (not to be confused with pre-Pentium CPUs, although they may well have accumulated one of those 100) can now coast, unless they want a last chance to get in Prof. Stubtoe or Knockhead's uper relativity course. But they have a chance to begin tasting what life after Caltech will consist of. (At least I concede that there may be life after Caltech, quite an admission on my part, says my wife, who believes that my FEATURES Dean's Corner Here comes the 3rd Therm by Jean-Paul Revel whole life is here, I mean there.) And it is the first term on grades for the Frosh, who by now are expected to be ready for this change in life. Just to be sure, I want to repeat myself a little and present several items for your consideration which I hope you can help do something about. One of these items has to do with the Honor Code, which we all know is the greatest thing since Caltech was founded. It is most surprising therefore to find that the same sermon has to be re-peated. I say has to, because each term seems to bring anew problems that have already been visited, albeit with different people, but that just says the problem is common. Well here I go, repeat after me: "anything, any behavior which leads one person (or a group) to acquire unfair advantage over another is a violation of the Honor Code." As such if it is gained by copying someone else's results, spending more than the allotted time, or taking advantage in any other way. If there is too much work these things are mat- ters for the BoC. Please act on this premise. Behave so as to avoid taking advantage of others. Note that the BoC is composed of students, your class-and you don't have enough time, that is also telling you something: either you spend too much time on something(s) else, or you need extra help to assimilate the material in the course. There are several ways to deal with that, and they don't include any of the sins that can be committed against the All of you are fantastic, and all can do the work that is demanded of you. Admissions never makes mistakes. code. Talk to your TA, or Heaven help you, your Prof. (E-mail works wonders for those whose schedules are out of synch.) Talk to your Advisor; there is no shame attached to doing so. The advisors by and large have volunteered to work with students. All students have Advisors, but if you think you don't have one, mates and housemates, and that they are spending their time because of your misdoings. If that's not taking advantage of your peers I don't know what 1S. in spite of my saying so, come and talk to me or e-mail me about it. The idea behind having the Advisors sign the registration cards, add cards, drop cards, Now, all of you are fantas- petitions and the like is to en- tic, and all can do the work that courage you to go and talk to is demanded of you. Admis- them in person. Having a sec- sions never makes mistakes. It retary sign your forms does no should also be obvious that a one any good. I am sure most grade will not do you any good of the Profs. administrative as- April 4, 1997 7 sistants are delightful people to talk to. After all, it is not unusual for unattached Profs. to eventually marry otherwise unattached A.A.'s, but the A.A.'s don't have the training or academic standing that the Profs. are presumed to have. The idea of a signature is to give you a reason to have at least a cursory discussion with your Advisor. If that's impos-sible, then come and talk to us in the Dean's Office. Dean Green and I do enjoy talking to you and helping you solve your problems. One of the things we can do (and no one else can) is arrange for a private tutor (they are paid by the Dean's Office, no cost to you). We'll also offer cookies and/or coffee or pop. So please do yourself and the rest of us a favor. Keep up with your homework, do your work honestly and fairly, come and talk early if something, or someone, bothers you. So there; even though the heat is on let's have the best therm ... ever. Cool? You bet. Maybe I should audit Thermo? .. I'll think about it and so I'll be. In the meantime, A bientôt, do Revel NEW! 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Flat screen, Low-radiation high speed serial, parallel, key game ports Medium tower case w/230 Wat Microsen mouse Sound Blaster 32 Wavetable sound card Super fast 16X CD-ROM drive 240 Watt Hi-Fi speakers & Microphone * MaxTech 56 Kbps Voice/Fax/Modem (Full duplex speakerphone system) special 200 MHz $2799 180 MHz $2649 150 MHz $2269 April 4, 1997 Events The Prefrosh are coming! Prefrosh Weekend will be held from Thursday, April 17th until Sunday, April 20th. Any organizations, groups, or departments wishing to hold rcirosh weekend douvues are encouranzco to contact the Prefrosh Weekend Planning Committee to organize scheduling, etc. Also, any comments or suggestions about Prefrosh Weekend will be welcomed. Send email to ane cadmissions.cameen.edu or can ne na- Iissions Olice al X0,41. The Caltech Division of the Humanities and Social Sciences will be presenting the fol. lowing seminars for the spring Quarter 1997: > Science, Ethics, and Public Policy in conjunction with William Bennett Munro Memorial Seminars Thursday. April 17th 1997, 4:00pm, in the Judy Library, Baxter Building "Sexuality in France: The Irony of Legal Tolerance Since the French Revolution" Dr. Robert Nve Thomas Hart and Mary Jones Horning Professor of Humanities and Professor of History Oregon State University. > William and Myrtle Harris Distin- guisned becureships in ocience and civi lization Friday, April 18th, 1997, 3:30pm, in the Beckman Institute Auditorium "Debate in the Republic of Science: Michael Polanyi and P.M.S. Blackett on Science and Its Social nos Dr. Mary Jo Nye Homing Protessor of the Humanities and Professor of History Oregon State University. Seminars are on the Caltech campus and are open to the community. If you have further questions, contact Christine Silva at silva@hss.caltech.edu. or x4087. SOME COMPANIES OFFER YOU THE SUN, THE MOON AND THE STARS. WE'RE A LITTLE MORE DOWN TO EARTH. As a new graduate, you will hear career promises from varied companies. Many will offer the opportunity to be entrepreneurial, innovative and creative. But take a good look. Do they have competitive products. Marker demand! The resources and stability for the long run? PairGain Technolories does. We are a world leader in the design. manufacture and marketing of High-bit-race Digical Subscriber Line (HDSL) products and systems. We have been listed th by fortune and jed by inc. in their ranking of the country s fastest growing public companies. With annual revenues in excess of $200 million and a 70% marker share, our promise of a stellar future is a down-to-earth propo-sition. Put your engineering degree to work in one of the following areas: •Amalor and Divila Circult Desin unaneers • Communications Systems Engineers rumware onomeers • Software Engineers • VLSI Design Engineers Find out more about our company by joining us at our On-Campus Information Session on luesday, April 1), 4:00 - 0:00pm at the Student Activity Center. We lI also be conducting On-Campus Interviews on Wednesday, April 16. Please sign up at the Career Center to schedule an appointment. Or if you're unable to meet with us, please forward a resume to: PairGain Technologies, Inc., Human Resources Dept.-DP/CT, 14402 Franklin Avenue, Tustin, CA 92780; fax: (714) 730-3199; e-mail: hr@pairgain.com. Equal Opportunity Employer. & PAIRGAIN THE COPPEROPTICS COMPANY http://www.pairgain.com NORTHWESTERN UNIVERSITY SUMMER SESSION '97 • Over 300 courses in 44 departments • A wide variety of social science courses • Smaller, more interactive classes • Day and evening classes • Premeds: earn a year's worth of credit in biology, chemistry, or physics in eight weeks • One- to eight-week courses available • A beautiful lakefront campus, just minutes from Chicago SUMMER BETTER THAN OTHERS • Five field studies programs • Five study abroad programs • Overnight canoe trip on the Wisconsin River • Day hikes at Illinois and Wisconsin state parks • Intramural sports FOR YOUR FREE SUMMER CATALOG Phone: 1-800-FINDS NU or 847-491-5250 Web: http://www.nwu.edu/summernu/ E-mail: summer@nwu.edu Mints denotes a new announcement. Notices > Fly casting lessons are being considered to start third term. This would be a beginners class open to all students, faculty, and staff. A limited number of rods and reels will be available. Basic fly casting techniques will be stressed. Fly casting classes will be Thurs- days from 5: 15pm to 6:15pm, beginning April 10th. If interested, please contact Tom Perry at x4705. > New Course: SES/H/PL 169 Contemporary Issues in History and Philosophy of Chemistry. Philosophers have recently begun to take an interest in chemistry because in posing the question of the reduction of the sciences, one cannorignore me queston or wneier chem istry reduces to physics. If reduction even fails at the first hurdle, then there would seem little hope of achieving a more ambitious reduction like that of biology to phys- This course seeks to explore some recent issues in history and philosophy of chemistry, Including une impact or discovenes made in atomic physics on chemistry. A survey will be made with reference to the history of modem chemistry, of questions such as whether chemistry is reduced to quantum mechanics, tne role or atonic orbitals in chemistry, the history and theoretical status of the periodic table, the nature of explanations in chemistry and the debate regarding the relative virtue of prediction and accommodation by chemi- cal tneory. Instructor: Diana Barkan and Eric Scerri W 7pm to l0pm For further details contact Eric Scerri, x4030, or scerri@hss. > Johns Hopkins University will be running a summer program for 7th and 8th grade students at Caltech this year. There are several openings for TAs, RAs, instructors, and office help. JHU will pay for room and board for the duration of classes and pay a stipend as well. The program will run from June 23th to August 9th. If you are interested in apply- ing for these jods, please contact Keith Counsell as keith@cco, at x3320, or in the Housing Annex between the hours of 8:00am and o.wom. From the Counseling Center Looking for a safe and supportive place to discuss issues such as coming out, being out, dealing with family, coping with a homophobic culture, and being GLB at Caltech? Want somewhere just to make new friends? You are invited to the Gay/Lesbian/ Bisexual Support Group, which meets on the first and third Tuesdays of each month from 7:30pm till 10:00pm in the Health Center lounge. This is a confidential meeting and attending does not imply anything about a person's sexual orientation-only that he or she is willing to be supportive in this setting. The group usually discusses a particular relevant topic and then moves on to the general discussion. Kerreshments are served. It you would like more information, please call x8331. Stress Management for Students For help in learning how to relax and manage stress, Jon Pedersen, Ph.D., and Fern Klapper, M.A., of the Caltech Counseling Center, will be offering a four-week workshop beginning February IIth. On each of four consecutive Tuesdays, from 12:00 - 12:50pm, a variety of practical, simple, and effective techniques will be taught, ranging from progressive relaxation to basic meditation techniques to the principles of heathly living. The sessions will be primarily experiential and will build on material from the previous week. This workshop is open to any student and if you are interested, please contact Dr. Pedersen at x8331. The Caltech Counseling Center is sponsoring a program entitled "Stress Management in the First Two Years of Graduate School." This program will consist of a discussion and presentation by a panel of graduate students (Selena Forman, Weng Ki Ching, and Ivett Leyva) and Counseling Center staff Aimee Ellicott. Ph.D. and Deborah Southerland M.A. We will focus on the specific kinds of stress grads encounter as first and second year students, such as adjustng to graduate school. qualifying exams and relationships with ad-visors. The program is open to all graduate students and will be held on Thrusday, February 13th, from 6:00-7:30pm in Winnett cuoroon one. Lient rerreshmens wil de provided. If you have any questions ahout these programs or want to discuss your individual questions or concerns regarding coping with stress, please contact the Counseling Center at x8331. Fellowships and Scholarships > Fellowships and Scholarships for gradu- ate study and travel: Juniors & sophomores interested in learning about the Rhodes, Fulbright, Marshall, Churchill, Watson and Luce rehowsnios ac inviico lo a workshOd on Wednesday, April I6th from noon until Ipm in Winnett, Club Room One. Since a pizza lunch will be served, email the following information fellowships@starbasel.caltech.edu by Mon-day, April 14th, if you plan to attend the work-shop. We need to know your name, major and favorite toppings or special dietary needs. College students who are U.S. citizens and have a grade point average of 'B+' or better are eligible for a $1000 college scholarship. to receive an application, send a request by April 11th, 1997 to the Educational Communications Sholarship Foundation at 721 North McKinley Road, PO Box 5012, Lake Forest, IL 60045-5012; fax a request to (847) 295-3972; or e-mall a request to scholar@ecilf.com. All requests for applications must include the student's name, permanent home address, city, state, zip code, name of college, appropriate GPA, and year in school dunng the 1990-199/ academic year Applications will be fulfilled by mail only, on or about April 22nd, 1997. Thirty-five winners will be selected on the basis of academic performance, involvement in extracurricular acuvues. and some consideration for finan. cial need. A total of $35,000 will be awarded. From the Fellowships Advising and Resources Office, X2100. e-mail lauren_stolper@starbasel.caltech.edu: The American Association of University Women offers a number of fellowships to women who are U.S. citizens or permanent residents, including one year post-doctoral rellowsnips and special dissertation fellow- shins. The international fellowship is awarded to women who are not citizens of the U.S. or permanent residents who are engaged in full-time grade or post-graduate study in the U.S. A poster with a tear-off card that allows you to send for an application is posted on our main bulletin board. From the Financial Aid Office, 515 S. Wil-son, second floor: > The Asian/Pacific American Association for Advancement, Inc. (4A) is accepting applications for their 4A San Francisco Bay Area Scholarship Program. 4A will be se- lecting three scholarship recipients who will each receive a $1,000 scholarship. Eligible students must be Asian/Pacific, U.S. Citizens or permanent residents, and must be enrolled full-time as undergraduate or graduate stu- denis. Abolicans will de evaluared based on their scholastic discipline, personal achieve-ment, and community involvement. AT&T, Lucent Technologies, and NCR employees and their children are ineligible to apply. Applications are due April 15th, 1997. The Sunkyong Group of Korea and LeaderShape Inc. are sponsoring the "Glo- Dal Leaders of omorrow essay contest Entrants must be undergraduate or graduate students at the time their entries are submit-ted. Essays may be written from one of four perspecuves. business. GovernmentLaw Science, or Media/Communications. nres THE CALIFORNIA TECH winners will be selected in each of these for categories. First prize (one winner in each category) is $2,500 plus a one week trip to Korea. Second prize (one winner per cat-egory) is $500 plus one week at a LeaderShape training program. Third prize (one winner per category) is $S00. The Fi. nancial Aid Office has more information. The deadline for entries is April 15th, 1997. the actb (formerly the American Coun cil of Independent Laboratories) Scholar. ship Alliance is offering scholarships for stu- dents majoring in the pnysical sciences: phys ics, chemistry, engineering, geology, biology. or environmental science. Awards are baser on academic performance, career goals, lead. ership, and financial need, and are typically $1,000-$2,000. To apply you must be a junior or senior in undergraduate study, or a graduate student. Applications and all sup porting documents are due April 15th, 1997. The American Women's Club in Sweden will be awarding a travel grant for study and research in Sweden. To qualify you must be a woman, age l8 or over and an Americar citizen. You must also be accepted for a pe-nod or study or research ara swedish educa tional institution or agency and show evidence of financial need. The completed application and all supporting documents must be re ceived by April 15th, 1997. The Jewish Vocational Service is accepting applications for scholarships from the Jew- isn communiy scnolismo rund. The schol. arships are designed to provide financial assistance to Jewish students who are legal res dents of Los Angeles County, attending col lege on a full-time basis. Applicants must have a 2.5 minimum G.P.A., must be a sophomore or higher by September 1997, and must be able to document significant financial need. The deadline for submission of con pleted applications is April isin, 1991. The American Electroplaters and Surface Finishers Society is offering scholarships to uncere auuac uniors and scmors and tradu. ate students who are interested in careers in the electroplating and surface finishing indus-try. Undergraduates must be full-time and must be majoring in metallurgy, metallurgical engineering, matenais serence or enginee ing, chemistry, chemical engineering, or environmental engineering. Applications must be submitted by April 15th, 1997. The John Gyles Education Fund is offering financial assistance to students who are Canadian or U.S. Citizens. A minimum G.P.A. of 2.7 is required for eligibility. Criteria other than academic ability and financial need are considered in the selection pro- coss. Selected students will receive up to $3,000. To receive an application, send a stamped, self-addressed, No. 10 envelope to: The John Gyles Education Fund, Attention: R. James Cougle, Administrator, P.O. Box 4808, 712 Riverside Drive, Fredericton, New Brunswick, Canada E3B SG4, Filing dates for mailing applications in 1997 are June 15, and November 15, 1997. The Jewish Family and Children's Services is pleased to announce the continued availability of financial support for Jewish individuals and their families. JFCS provides hundreds of students loans, grants, and scholarships to Jewish students. Individuals may apply for up to $5,000. Special scholarshi are available for study in Israel. To be eli gible, students must have financial need, have at least a 3.0 GPA, and be residents of San Francisco, the Peninsula, Marin or Sonoma counties, or the Bay Area. There are no dead lines-applications are accepted throughout the year and are available in the Financial Aid Office. The Coalition of Higher Education Assistance Organizations (COHEAO) is pleased to present an opportunity for students to apply for three $1,000 scholarships and three $200 runner-up awards. Applications and supporting documents are due May 15th, 1997. THE CALIFORNA TECH Caltech 40-58 Pasadena, California 91125