California Tech: Summer, v. 91:i, June 28, 1989

雪壓翻 A工I亙 SUMMER IA TECH Pasadena, California Volume XCI, Number i Hayes: a Stud At graduation two weeks ago, One of the "Oh so close" mo- the "Athlete of the Year" award was ments occurred in the 400 yard presented swimmer Brian Medley Relay. The team of Barry Hayes. As the team captain for the Stipe, Brian Hayes, Jim Taylor, past two years, Brian has lead and Boyd Bangerter had a good Caltech to a third and fourth place chance of breaking the Caltech finish in the traditionally strong record set twenty years ago at the SCIAC Conference. This season he National Championship by Wright, set an individual record, swimming Tyson, Sheffield, and Kalisvaat. the 100 yard Breaststroke The time is an outstanding 3:46.9 1:01.69. The previous record was and earned fourth in held by Caltech's five-time All-Championship. the 1969 There is no hun- American Chris McKinnon. Brian dredth of a second because of the was also a member of the 200 yard analog watches used. On the back- Freestyle Relay and Medley Relay stroke leg; Stipe swam a 58.65, teams that smashed the previous Hayes swam the breaststroke race Caltech records in the SCIAC fi-of his life 1:00.70, Taylor gave his nals. Brian received All- top performance 55.63 in the fly, Conference Honors in the 100 and and Bangerter brought it home with 200 yard breaststroke missing the a 51.93 for a total time of 3:46.91. NCAA standard .60 One hundredth from a tie, two hun- second. dredth from a school record. Erin Hellner Erin Hellner, a sophomore ing Erin drawing Godmice on the majoring in Computer Science and whiteboard, coloring with crayons a member of Dabney House, died on butcher paper, and creating en- the night of June 7. Images tertaining anagrams often amused of a barefoot Erin, those around him. He enjoyed wearing a brightly colored tie-dye T-shirt and John Lennon sunglass- sacks and juggling bags as well as es, playing hacky-sack late into the drumming on the side of the 360 night, are fondly remembered by those who knew him. Many recall Erin operated on a thirty-six Erin's fondness for Thai iced tea hour day, sometimes hacking code and infinite repeats of the third for twenty-four hours straight be- track of Terrapin Station. Watch- fore falling asleep in the Dabney Erin Hellner enjoying a game of Jai-Alai in Dabney courtyard. Three great weeks of CRIME AND INCIDENT BEAT straight from the desk of Ginder. 6-2 Two suspicious looking males were observed drinking in a with $35 missing. He had left his door unlocked while tak- van parked by the tennis courts. Security came and disco- ing a shower. Other students reported seeing a black suspect vered both were non-Techers who appeared under the in- in the Ricketts area and on Hill St, although not near the fluence. Security escorted them off campus. 6-2 Fire alarm activated in Ruddock kitchen. A Rudd over- 6-3 cooked his food, setting off the smoke detector. The main glass door to the housing office was discovered broken. It appeared someone had thrown a rock through the window. Nothing was noticed missing. 6-3 The small passenger window of a car in the Chester lot was 6-3 broken. Nothing was missing. A male caucasian in his 30's was reported trespassing in the Ricketts lounge. He was said to be bumming cigarettes from SUCH. 6-3 Bike stolen from north side of Noyes. Bike was locked to a rack with a chain lock. 6-0 Fire alarm on the second floor of Industrial Relations was 6-6 set off by a coffee pot that had been left on. $228 was reported missing from the coffeehouse. At 6:40PM the door to the stockroom was locked. Twenty minutes later, the door was ajar, and the money missing. Not all of the 6-8 money was taken, and there was no evidence of tampering. Bike stolen from the south entrance of Dabney Hall between 10AM and 4:20pM. The bike was locked, but didn't belong to the person reporting it missing. 6-8 Security found a car in the SW corner of the Blacker parking lot with the driver's door open and the stereo equalizer partially removed. The owner, Tom Tromey, was contacted and said that he left the door open. Tom was advised that "leaving the door open could invite theft and that it would be a good idea to lock his vehicle in the future." 6-9 An Apple disk drive and mouse were stolen from an open room in Braun Lab. 16-9 A Sears Die Hard battery was missing from a red Mustang in the Michigan-Del Mar lot. The car had no hood lock and had been parked there for four months. 6-10 A Sears Die Hard battery was missing from a 72 Chevy 6-12 Theft in Downs. The victim left her door unlocked while she went to lunch. When she returned, a digital clock and an apple (the fruit) were missing from her desk. She had flowers delivered during the noon hour. 6-12 An electric cord and calculator missing from room 38 of the SAC. Only four people had keys, and none of them knew 6-13 Office in Lauritson found unlocked, a computer had been unplugged, and two chairs were moved. It had been locked the night before. In a follow up investigation, security discovered the custodians were scheduled to vacuum the room 6-13 Wallet with $20 stolen from gym locker. Locker may have 6-13 Panhandler asked for money to return to Montclair on sidew-al west of Central Plant. Security was called for an escort. The panhandler was gone when they arrived. 6-14 Wallet with $45 and credit cards was stolen from gym lock-er. Locker was locked and closed. 6-16 Bike stolen from an unlocked garage at 285 $ Holliston. 6-16 Albert Collelo passed out at the Athenaeum. Paramedics transported him to the Huntington Hospital. The victim was here for the commencement of his son David. 6-17 Locked mountain bike worth $400 stolen from the racks north of Church. 6-20 President Tom Everhart lost his coat while addressing a group of graduated students in the Judy Library. moved his coat and placed it on the back of a chair. After the meeting he noticed it missing. 6-20 A guest at the Athenaeum became ill and fainted. Paramedics treated him and took him to the Huntington Hospital. 6-21 Camera and accessories worth $435 stolen from unlocked 6-22 Motion detector activated in the back of the bookstore when pickup in the NW Chester lot. The truck had no locking device and had been parked there for four days. 6-10 A tire pump, bike tools, and water bottle were stolen from a locked bike parked near Keck. 6-10 During a pickup basketball game in the gym, two non- Techers began arguing and fighting. They stopped and play 6-22 Worker installing filters in the isotope lab became dizzy and faint. He refused to have paramedics called. His condition worsened, and his supervisor called the paramedics. 6-22 A pocketbook was taken from a purse from an open room in Ricketts. A drivers license, ID card, charge card, and $20 resumed, however the next time they came down the floor, the suspect climbed over the back of the other and deliberately struck his eye with his fist. The suspect continued to hit the victim, although he was on the ground and bleeding. Another player chased the suspect off. The victim got up and chased the suspect to his car. The suspect got a knife from his car and started to come back, but then left when security arrived. The victim suffered a gash over his eye and was driven to the hospital. Witnesses said the same two almost got into a fight a few weeks before. 6-23 Parked car in the green zone at Keith Spalding had it left door and right wheel panel damaged. Car had been parked in the one hour zone for one hour and twenty minutes. 6-23 Car top carrying rack and punching bag taken from the storage area in the NE corner of the gym. The lock was cut. 6-23 1984 Blue Nissan truck parked on Lura had a large dent in 6-23 Two people who looked like non-techers were trying to get into Noyes. They tried to follow another person into the 6-11 A Ricketts student found his wallet on the floor of his room The five-foot eight-inch Bo Adler (see left ear) has a top speed of twenty-four miles hour on land. Watch out! eu never know when he might strike. Sssssss! June 28, 1989 playpens or the party triple waterbed. At times he would sit on the sofa in the lounge gazing into the fire, or turn off the lights and listen to wild, frantic Schubert. These images cannot reveal the true friend that Erin was to many at Caltech. He was always there when a friend needed someone to talk to or a shoulder to cry on. He was always concerned for his friends, and trusted them when we had a problem or needed support. Dabney House and many others at Caltech grieve his loss. LA Opera Goes To Hell by Gavin Claypool You think it's all peaches and cream being a god? The fact is, Ambrosia morning, noon, and night is not all it's cracked up to be, as the current Los Angeles Music Center Opera production of Orpheus in the Underworld brings home. Shown delectable alternatives by Pluto, lord of the Underworld, the gods revolt against the paternal hand of Jupiter and...go to Hell. Actually, all this takes place in Act Il, which opens with most of the gods asleep in their communal beds, and a few curtew-breakers (Venus, Cupid, Diana) sneaking in. When they wake up, so does the Quickly, then: Act I introduces us to Orpheus (Jonathan Mack), his wife Eurydice (Tracy Dahl), and Pluto (Ronald Stevens), who is in earthly guise. Eurydice desires to leave Urpheus and accepts Pluto's invitation to Hell. (But there's only a mortal can enter. Orpheus, now a widower, is ready to go looking for his bevy of but Public Opinion (played in this performance by Roderick Cook) sternly directs him to petition Heaven instead for the In Act Il, we are introduced to the rest of the pantheon. Jupiter (Robert Orth) is a loving but traditional father (his god/children call him "Daddy") who is satisfied with the status quo-except, perhaps, for his choice of bed partner. In the funniest piece, his wife and daughters counter his complaints about listing the menagerie of his seduction. Having called Pluto on the carpet for the apparent abduction of to investigate the manner for him-self, and everyone goes along for Act Ill. Eurydice finds herself now continued on page 4 2 June 28, 1989 LETTERS Nipple Bra Ad Offensive Editors: Hey, you guys: the inclusion of the "nipple bra" ad on the last page of the CIT Weekly (6-9-89) was really uncool, in poor taste, and unfunny too. If you want to print such stuff, why not be egalitarian about it? Why not give men's underwear (i.e., jockstraps, or the like), for example, equal space? It's difficult enough, as a woman, to fit in and feel accepted here. There is no reason to increase the inherent male-female tension (not sexual tension) by the printing of such a sexist and insensitive item. I would hope, as intelligent and thinking people, that you would know better. -Laura Jones Seismo Lab 252-21 Sorry, we didn't think that the ad would be considered that offen-sive, as millions of women did buy these bras during the middle seventies (but then those were the seven-ties). We searched for a similar men's underwear ad (The Bigger Bulge Jockey Shorts???), but this was the best we could find. AND HANDSOME with spander brief provides back and stomach lieves tired muscles. Com- lorrarie ana washaoie. LOU. Good to wear while doing light sports and activities. Front has zippered fly and 3¼" high waistband. F3289 Brief L (37-40") $10.99 F3290 Brief X-L (41-44") $10.98 Sam Custom Tailor 3519 E. COLORADO BLVD PASADENA (818) 793-2582 Hours: 9:00 a.m. - 7:00 p.m. TAILORING for LADIES & GENTLEMEN ALTERATIONS RESTYLING INVISIBLE REWEAVING Spacial rates for Caltach/JPL communi 000000000000000 Save 50% on LASER PRINTER CARTRIDGES We refill empty laser cartridges Hewlett-Packard Apple Wang 100% Guarantee Call Laser Network at (213) 287-0470 Free pick-up and delivery $5 off for first cartridge exp. 8/1/89 The California Tech Inside World Caltech Invaded by Scott Kister Hundreds of high school chil- dren have invaded the Caltech campus. The students started arriving last Sunday. Most have been sighted in the North Houses or the SAC game room. The students outnumber Tech-ers by about eight to one in the North Houses. The students reportedly go into hibernation every night around 11pM. At 8AM they are often seen wandering around cam-pus, usually heading west. There have been many sightings of these student at Chandler Dining Hall around noon. The students are the most bothersome between 3PM and 11pM. Although there haven't been any problems yet, Techers should be aware that the invaders plan on staying here for most of the The Outside World Japanese Man Arrested for 50,000 Crank Calls TOKYO- A man upset over failing to gain admission to a graduate school program 14 years ago has been arrested for making more than 50,000 harassins tereonone calls to & protes sor since then, police said Wednesday. Yoshikazu Hayashi, 39, a forestry office employee in western Kyoto, was arrested on charges of intimidation after he admitted making the calls, a police official said. Every night between 8 p.m. and 2 a.m., he made about 10 calls to Tsuna-hide Shitei, a former professor at Kyoto University, the official said. In some calls, Mr. Hayashi reportedly made such remarks as "T'll set fire to your house." -The Associated Press (5-18-89) Al's Greener Thoughts - Clothing Never pick up or hug children when you first return from the field. If you do, you may expose them to pesticide residues which remain on your clothing and hands. Wash clothing worn while handling pesticides separately from the family's regular wash, and rinse the washing machine with clean water immediately. A good shower, with lots of soap and running water, should eliminate any remaining traces of pesticide. SILL RIPKEN SECOND BASE FLEER COME TO THE CALTECH BOOKSTORE FOR GREAT SUMMER READING! WINNER OSTHE PULITER PROE GODE A Foul Off The Handle This card, produced by the Fleer be anywhere from 20,000 to 200,000. trading-card company in Philadelphia, The card, whose worth was initially ap- was removed from the market in Janu- praised at between two and five cents, ary when Fleer discovered the obsceni- has sold tor as much as $125 since the ty on the base of the bat. Fleer refuses recall. Ripken claims he was the vic- to comment on the number of cards in tim of a prank by one of his teammates. circulation, but dealers speculate it may -Harper's Magazine (May 1989) Dooleys' Dog Herschel Is Safe at Home Again ATHENS -Herschel is back where he belongs. The black Labrador retriever was chief owners, University of Georgia Athletic Director Vince Dooley and his wife Barbara As Mrs. Dooley had suspected after the dog disappeared Tuesday, he had been on on a romanue duveilture use & lew blocks from home. -The Associated Press (6-4-89) Aborted KKK Rally A planned Ku Klux Klan rally against kosher foods in Perry, Fla:, fiz-zied when 100 anti-racism protesters appeared but of the supremacists showed up. -Atlanta Constitution (6-12-89) Falcon Falls In NCAA Final Kenyans Kip Cheruiyot and Olympic champion Peter Kono of Mount St. Mary's finished 1-2 in the men's 1,500 meters in a race marred by a spill by Arkansas' Joe Falcon, a seven-time NCAA champion. BACH AN ETERNAL GOLDEN BRAID THE CALIFORNIA TECH Volume XCI • Number i June 28, 1989 EDITORS Scott Kiste Mark Lyttle Paul Socolow A METAP! NO MACHINES A metaphorical fugue on minds and machines in the spirit of Lewis Carroll. Vintage $14.95 19 ATTENTION STUDENTS Are you planning to charge on your student account this summer? Be sure to pick up your new authorization card from Student Accounts (205 Keith Spalding) and submit it to the Bookstore. THE CALIFORNIA TECH 40-58 SAC California Instrute of Technolog Pasadena, California 91125 (818) 356-6154 Caltech Bookstore Mail Code 1-51 Pasadena, CA 91125 (818) 356-6161 (0) Open: Monday-Friday 8:15-4:30 Letters and announcements are welcome. All cor tributions should include the author's name anc phone number and the intended date of publicatio The editors reserve the right to abridge and edit le ters for literacy, expediency, or else. bscription requests should be directe office manager. Subscriptions are $3 Printed by News-Type Service, Glendale. ISSN 0008-1582 The California Tech LOOK... ISSUE WHAT? MAGAZINE? MAGAS WAIT... IM NOT GOING TO PANIC... THE WORLD 15 A PLACE OF REASON... EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE. LOGIC RULES HUMAN EVENTS DELIVERY ROOM DON'T PANIC! I'M RIGHT HERE WITH YA, BABE! June 28, 1989 WHAT IF THINGS GO WHAT IF ALIEN ATACK DURING DELIVERY 7 WHAT... WHAT... THE GAL OI THE COVER HAS HER BLOUSE WIDE OPEN. "WURRAM FOR THE BRA!" IT SAYS. OBVIOUSLY HE HASN'T HEARD ABOUT 'LIFE'S" SPECIAL BRA 19SUE. PHEW N... OUT.. RIGHT. PHEWW. PHEWW. EVERYONE THAT WEV BEEN TAKING FERTILITY DRUGS? HUH. MORE GALS INSIDE. "IT'S 100 YEARS OLD HURRAH FOR THE BRA!" I'M ABOUT TO BE NOW?! AN IMMINENT ONSPRING! Berke Breathed WE'RE HAVIN' THIS BABY / TOGETHER ...ET ME SHARE THE PAIN! GIVE MEAL NT WHAT'S MAYBE "NEWSWEEK" HAS "HURRAH FOR HOOTER!" BLOOM COUNTY LESSEE... THE MOTHER'S PART BASSET HOUND. PART ANTELOPE AND IM A JACK RABBIT... 5O THE KID'S GONNA BE...UH... LIKE I'M TASSING VOLKSWAGEN. PASSING? YOU MEAN, LIKE "200M BY" WHADYA MEAN? IT'S HAPPENING ROSEBUO'S HAVING HER DADY.!! JACKABASSELOPE THANK GOD MARLIN PERKING PION'T LIVE FEE THIS! AAARCH! Continued LOWEST AIR FARES Atlanta Chicago New York Phoenix $238.00 RT $179.00 RT $278.00 RT $ 38.00 RT Bangkok $796.00 RT Bangladesh $996.00 RT India $1165.00 RT London $665.00 RT Paris $668.00 RT Tokyo $536.00 RT More lowest fares are available. Prices are subject to change. Call (818) 794-0210 FREE WORLD TRAVE ACADEMY BARBER SHOP 27 N. Catalina Ave., Pasadena Open Tues.-Sat., 8 A.M.-5 P.M. 449-1681 Rag Time on Green RESALE CLOTHING WOMEN 1136 E. Green St. • Pasadena (818) 796-9924 Mon 10-6 • Tues-Thurs 10-5 * Fri-Sat 10-3 BOING on Pa HELLO? "PAMPERS, INC"? WEVE HEARD THAT WHEN FOLKE HAVE SAY, QUINTUPLETS YOU'VE BEEN KNOWN DIAPERE. WELL, WE'VE GOT A SITUATION HERE WITH... UH. LESSEE. QUINTUPLETS SQUARED! ADOUT HURRY! FIFTY OR 50 CAN YOU SHIP FEDERAL EXPRESS? SUMMER MOVIES ARE HERE! Thursday, June 29 176 with An American Time Capsule The Devil and Daniel Mouse Less Than Zero North by Northwest Charlie Chaplain: Vagabond White Nights Baxter Lecture Hall 7:00 & 10:00 p.m. Admission: $1.50 for everyone 968 and under. MANDARIN CUISINE & SEAFOOD ENJOY A DELICIOUS MEAL ESPECIALLY PREPARED FOR YOU BY OUR AWARD-WINNING CHEF LUNCH SPECIAL CLASSIC DINNERS 11:30 a.m. Choe 13 mire 395 Sun-Thurs 3-10 p.m Choice of 13 Entrees Fri-Sat 3-10:30 p.m. EARLY BIRD DINNER SPECIAL 3 p.m.-7 p.m. DAILY Choose from 13 items ONLY 4,95 2475 East Colorado Blvd. (818) 449-8018 (between Altadena Dr. & Sierra Madre in Pasadena) Restauran Free Parking in Rear • Open 7 Days • Cocktail Lounge • Food to Go Welcome La Grotta di Capri Pasta House Discount with Cultech ID: Dinner for 2 for $11.95 includes pasta dish with soup or salad and selected dessert Ask for the summer dinner special (818) 796-7652 1770 E. Colorado Blvd. Pasadena (parking in rear) PLDDINGSTONE HOT TUBS RESORT 20% OFF with this coupon Private tub rental, Sunday - Thursday expires 9/30/89 Reservations & directions: (714) 592-2222 Frank G. Bonelli Park in San Dimas 4 June 28, 1989 BLOOM COUNTY From lage 3 EL NEW BABIES, PORT. I'M BEGINNING TO SUSPECT I'VE GOT A BIT MORE SCUSE ME RESPONSIBILITY 73 GALLONS OF ALL OF A SUDDEN.. The California Tech Orpheus Orpheus plays six performances (Wednesday through Saturday, 8 p.m., Saturday and I S'POSE THIS MEANS ME TO THE NUDE MUD-WRESTLING FINALS AT BIG BOB'S BOOBY TRAP?! TONIGHT?! from page 1 Sunday, 2 p.m.) at the Dorothy Chandler Pavilion Prices are desired by Jupiter, Pluto, and 845-40-35-25-15-8 for Wednes (reluctantly) Orpheus. Her choice, day and Thursday, $50-45-40- clearly approved by Public Opin- 30-20-13 for the other four shows. ion, will surprise you. The famous Student rush tickets ($6, if availa- Can-Can-standard background ble) will be sold one hour before music for chase scenes in Ameri- curtain at the box office. can cartoons closes out this act. Stevens and Orth, the contend- RID Transit Police Win ing suitors for Eurydice, are the Commendation dominant figures of the show. Keep Lt. Elston Burnley was honored at your eyes on them and on Dahl the WE TIP national conference as who is charming as their intended Law Enforcement Officer of the Year V0! BELIEVE ME! RTHERHOOD DOESN'T SCARE ME AT ALL! WHY. I DON'T MIND SACRIFICING EIGHTEEN YEARS OF MY OUN EVEN ONE SMIOGEN! Michael Smith, as the gods' mes- PARADE PAILY DISCOVERY! THAT'S THE TRUTH! PINOCCHIO S GOT THEIR POTTY TRAINING! CANT WAIT! Burnley has been instrumental in using the WE TIP senger Mercury, steals his scenes • program to crime and vandalism at the RTD. A through his exuberance. As a sudden replacement for Dom DeLuise (who has temporarily leit the Burnley has implemented the WE TIP ward program with RTD by facili production because of illness in hi g a $4,800 reward that was offer amily), Roderick Cook gave us a for a wanted cuminal. Unitomed tran prim, (and very British) Public police officers James Stonehouse Opinion and Russell Rentschler were recognized for their heroism after they re- Gerald Scarfe, political car- cently resecued seven people, including toonist for the London Sunday two small children, from a burning Times, designed the settings and apartment quadrex on mid-block New costumes. Gigantic cartoon figures Hampshire between Venice and Pico Jones Awarded Ag and exaggerated, bulging costumes The officers, disregarding serious in- underscore the point that this opera jury themse ves building a second time and rescued a Scholarship is for laughter, not tears. disomented man from the second floor Tyler Jones, son of Richard and El-vie Jones of Heaton, ND, has been awarded a $500 agricultural scholarship by Farm Credit Services (FCS) of Northwest North Dakota, ACA. sones pians w stuy North agricultural University, fargo, this fall Graduating in the top of his class, Jones was an honor student throughout 30% OFF ALL USED BOOKS offer expires 7/31/89 1MAMMLA 111.1 RIS ESQUIRE 2670 E. Colorado Blvd. (818) 793-6149 COLORADO 2588 E. Colorado Blvd (818) 796-9704 his years at Fessendon High School. He was also active in 4-H, Future Farmers of America (FFA) and athletics. While in 4-H, Jones held various offices and was a 4-H Ambassador. He also served as an officer in hi FFA chapter and received the Fessendon PASADENA SCIENTIFIC & TECHNICAL BOOKS 1388 E. WASHINGTON BLVD PASADENA, CALIFORNIA 91104 FFÀ Chapter Star Farmer award. CLASSIFIED ADS FOR SALE USED AIR CONDITIONERS, Carrier brand. 6000-BTU model $75; 12,000-BTU model $350. (818) 355-6158 evenings. PENNSYLVANIA HOUSE Queen Anne cherry dining room table with 2 leaves and protective pads-reasonable. headboard and frame $50. 818) 798-5266 RATES . $3.00 for first 25 words; 10¢ for each additional word. Send written ad with payment to 40-58. Deadline is 6 p.m., Monday before issue No charge for on-campus lost & found. Jacqueline Bisset Scenes from the Class Struggle in Beverly Hills Daily 5:45, 8:00, 10:15 pm Daily 5:10, 7:30, 9:50 pm Sat - Sun- July 4 Sat - Sun - July 4 COMPUTER SCIENCE • ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE 1:15, 3:30, 5:45, 8:00, 10:15 pm 12:30, 2:50, 5:10, 7:30, 9:50 pm MATHEMATICS PHYSICS " ENGINEERING BIOLOCY • CHEMISTRY MEDICAL HANDBOOKS • DICTIONARIES Contact us for additional titles in these or other scientific areas. We have a large selection of reference books, and we specialize in all scholarly & professional book categories. Special orders • 1-3 weeks delivery Rush orders by air • $10 extra We order worldwide LOCATED JUSI 2 MILES CALTECH NEAR HILL AVENUE Starts Friday, June 30 "Soviet Union's First Sex Star" -L.A. Times Little Vera LORENZO'S BARBER SHOP Ask for Your Unisex Hairstyling Regular Cut (men) $ 700 Regular Cut (women) $ 800 Style Cut $1200 Permanent Wave $4000 9 a.m.-6 p.m., Monday Saturday 14 N. 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